


Daycarestuck! (So many ships....)

by Ultimate_Fandom_Queen



Category: Alternate Universe - Fandom, Daycarestuck - Fandom, Homestuck
Genre: AU, Adorable, All The Ships, Alternate Universe, Angst, Children, Cute, Cute Kids, Daycare, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Help, Homestuck - Freeform, Lemon, M/M, Meddling Kids, Multi, Other, Plot, Requests, Smut, So many ships, original - Freeform, reader suggestions welcome, ships, sinking ships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-19
Updated: 2017-05-26
Packaged: 2018-09-25 15:34:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 25,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9826715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ultimate_Fandom_Queen/pseuds/Ultimate_Fandom_Queen
Summary: Jake English is the current owner of Lil Ol Schoolhouse Daycare center. Unfortunately, the daycare is currently going bankrupt, and his own twin brother, Lord English, in a fit of jealousy is determined to close it down. What happens when a ghost from Jake's past, someone he once thought was his true love, comes around, and might just have the answer to saving Jake's beloved daycare center?





	1. Lil' Ol' Schoolhouse

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Hello there! So, before you read, be warned. This fan fiction includes: fluffiness beyond belief, every sexuality imaginable, a completely original storyline, mentions of many different types of backgrounds, and, eventually, smut. However! I will need some help from you. You see, these characters? I want everyone to end up with someone in the end. And I want drama. Lots of it. So! If you want a couple together, tell me. Want a couple broken up, tell me. Have an idea to elaborate a back story, TELL ME! I MIGHT kill of some of the parents at some point IF people want me to. But before you decide, try to read a bit. You might get attached to some characters. Anywho, Enjoy!

Jake English sighed as he unlocked the door to the quant old schoolhouse. Flipping on the lights, he couldn’t help the small smile that appeared on his face, just as it did every morning, as he looked around the interior. While the outside of Lil’ Ol’ Schoolhouse Daycare center was just that; a little old schoolhouse, completely unchanged throughout the last 200 years or so save for a few repairs and the occasional fresh coat of red paint, the inside was like a paradise.  
Or, at least to the likes of Jake and the average preschooler it was.  
“There you are, Johnny.” the dark haired man in his early twenties said in a thick English accent as he set down the squirming five year old in his arms. The little dark haired, blue eyed boy giggled as he ran through the open doorway to the playroom. Jake chuckled, shaking his head at his energetic little cousin. He did love the child dearly, though. And the little tike appeared to love the daycare just as much as Jake did when he was younger, and still did in a way.  
“Good morning, grandma.” Jake said with a bittersweet smile as he kissed he portrait hanging on the wall, just above the golden plaque emblazoned “Our Founder”. He sighed as he sat at the front desk, waiting patiently for the patrons of the establishment. Personally, he didn’t mind these brief moments of solitude that came with running the daycare on his own. It gave him time to think. Not to mention the luxury of watching little John play, easily visible through the open doorway that led to the playroom.  
The daycare itself wasn’t really that big, considering that it had indeed once been a schoolhouse. The entire building took up less than 25 square feet, most of which was the room John was currently in. The walls of the playroom were covered in pictures colored or drawn by the current frequent patrons, all of which were children between the ages of 3 and 9, as were accepted by the daycare. Shelves and toy boxes overflowed with dolls and dress up clothes and blocks and books and board games. Anything that would keep the children occupied. Accept technology, of course. His grandmother had been adamant to keep any video games or television sets or anything of the like out of the daycare, claiming they killed imagination. While Jake didn’t exactly agree with that concept, he kept any of the sort out of the daycare anyhow. No one ever complained and every child always left with a smile on their face (save for a few who rarely smiled at all, and even they seemed happy). The rest of the building was taken up by the small front hallway where parents checked their children in and any coats were stored, a small bathroom in the back, and a storage room filled with snacks, spare clothes, cleaning supplies, first aid kits, nap mats, and anything else they might possibly need to care for the children. His grandmother always said that he should be prepared for anything when it came to taking care of these kids, and he should care for them as if they were his own. And how he did ever so love them as such. People often did mistake John for his son, since he always watched him when his Uncle Egbert needed and the two did look an awful lot alike. If it weren’t for Jake’s forest green eyes, accent, and slightly darker skin, he would probably look exactly like an older John.  
It was almost a shame that he never did end up having any kids. He had always wanted them, but when his grandmother died just shortly after his uncle adopted John (who coincidentally happened to be the child of his grandmother‘s apparently then newly diseased real son, while meanwhile her adopted son was John‘s step dad, but let‘s not even get into all that mess), Jake, fresh out of high school, immediately stepped up to the plate and inherited the daycare.  
It hadn’t been easy at first, of course. Jake himself had come to the daycare as a child, and he had been helping out here since he became too old himself to attend, so he did indeed have enough experience to run the place. However, the responsibility was a lot on the then 19 year old’s shoulders. Luckily, none of the previous patrons stopped coming simply because Grandma Egbert had died, since they all knew and trusted Jake at that point. However, he did run into…. Other issues.  
“Knock Knock~!”  
Speak of the devil…. Jake closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep, calming breath, before turning his head with a polite smile, facing the dreaded man at the door. “Hell again, Mr. Jake English.” the tall man said in an almost patronizing tone.  
“Hello, sir. May I help you?” Jake said politely, despite his sudden urge to grab the lovely vase of flowers on his desk and hurl it at the mans head.  
The man laughed as if Jake had just said something exceedingly funny. “Oh, Jakey. You really are still so….. Charming.” he said, approaching Jake’s desk. The man set his briefcase on it with a sigh and pretended to brush some dust off the shoulder of his expensive business suit. “Now, Why don’t we cut to the chase, shall we? I was just on my way to work. At my job. My job, you know, the one where I own my own realist ate company?” He leaned in a bit, lowering his voice in a faux whisper. “Just in case you forgot who I am. Or what a real job is.“ The man laughed again, this time as if he himself said something exceedingly funny, before straightening again. Jake was suddenly very glad Roxy taught him how to play poker so well. “Anywho. So, I was on my way to work and, wouldn’t you know it, I found these little doohicky’s!” The man opened his briefcase, his face a look of fake shock as he laid out the files on the desk. Jake didn’t even glance at them. He already knew what they were. “Now, hear me out! We just got another offer. This one for more money then any other so far! I mean, just look at all these zeroes!” The man gasped, waving the paper in Jake’s face. Jake didn’t look at it still, his expression still blank. “And guess what else? You remember Andrew, right? Andrew? My old assistant? The one who just recently announced his campaign for governor, even though everyone already knows I have that one in the bag.” The man before Jake sighed. “Anyways. So, obviously, I couldn’t have him running against me, soooo…. I fired him!” he said, then laughed again, this time almost sheepishly, as if announcing he just got a new girlfriend or boyfriend. “So! Usually, I tell you what. Usually, these things can take hours. Scheduling meetings, signing form after form, all that halabaloo junk. But, since we are old friends… If you sign these three little forms right now! I’ll take this place off your hands, give you the job, and will have all the money in your hands before the weekend.”  
“Get out.” Jake said simply.  
The man looked at Jake, as if not understanding what he just said. “Jakey-”  
“Get out. I’ve got parents coming with their children any minute now. Get. Out.”  
“….alright! Fine! But don’t expect another offer like this one.”  
“Get out!” Jake couldn’t maintain his poker face any longer. He stood up so fast his chair fell backwards as he slammed his hands on the desk. “I don’t want your money! I have a job! I am happy here, and nothing you say or do will change my mind.”  
“….you are running out of time, Jake. If you wait much longer, you’ll end up with nothing.”  
“I still have until the end of the year to pay off grandma’s old debts, and I have been keeping up with every other payment for the past five years. I’m not giving up on this place now… even if it means nothing to you.”  
The man sighed. “We were kids, Jake. Yeah, it was fun, we colored pictures and took naps and ate little snacks while grandma told stories. But we were kids. And you know what kids like today?” He held up one of the forms in his hand. “Arcades. With mind rotting video games, overpriced snacks, cheap prices, these places are gold mines! And it doesn’t stop with the kids! Even adults get hooked on this stuff. You think a lullaby and some crayons are going to have the same effect?” The man shook his head.  
“Goodbye…. Mr. Lord English.” Jake said tersely, glaring at the identical man at the door.  
“Goodbye…. Little bro.” The man said, smirking, before exiting.  
Jake sighed. Never before has the little jingle of the bell on top of the door sounded so melodious as when his twin finally left just now. “……You’re only older by two minutes.” Jake mumbled, pouting as he set the desk chair aright again and plopped down in it. He sighed, taking off his glasses for a moment and rubbing his eyes tiredly. Jake and Lord had never really had any more issues growing up than the average twin boys might. However, everything changed when they graduated high school. Jake had always done slightly better than Lord in school, although both boy’s managed to get full scholarships, Jake to Harvard and Princeton, the latter of which was Lord’s dream school, and Lord to Harvard and Yale. However, when their grandmother died, Jake turned down both scholarships in favor of running the school house. Lord got the Princeton scholarship since he had apparently been next on their list, but he never did exactly get over the fact that he only got it because Jake turned it down. He also couldn’t understand the purpose for Jake’s decision. Both boy’s had gone to the daycare as children, although Jake was the only one to help their grandmother out with it afterwards. Lord graduated early and at the top of his class, quickly getting into realist ate and climbing the ranks. Within a year he was head of his own company. Almost immediately he recognized that the old schoolhouse was in a prime location for… just about anything. In between multiple suburbs, within miles of both a highway and a freeway. Almost anything would be a gold mine in that location. It was no wonder there had been so many offers on the building, especially when it was discovered that Grandma Egbert had accumulated quit a few debts over the years due to her almost always being late to pay off the rent. It wasn’t exactly her fault, of course. She was elderly and forgetful, not to mention the bakery she ran crossed town to keep up with, which had been willed off to Jake’s cousin Jane. However, while the bakery was currently one of the most profitable in the state, the daycare was…. Less than satisfactory in funding.  
Jake’s small apartment and consistent diet of McDonalds dollar menu or whatever Mr. Egbert is making should speak for itself on that one…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Le gasp! What??? The Daycare is in danger? But…. The children! Speaking of which, you get to meet all of them in the next chapter. Got any ideas for what should happen next? TELL ME!


	2. The Kids

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Kids Arrive!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter is LONG! Seriously, it took like three hours of straight typing to finish. I think I have carpal tunnel now. Anywho, here is where you get to meet the kids and the parents. And you get some pretty neat background stories too! Just saying, I saved my favorite backstory for last. Mostly because it is the only one that is consistently happy. Oh, ad I am not sorry for the Condense bashing. Every story needs a good villain!

Jake was suddenly pulled from his thoughts at the sound of the bell tolling again. He quickly slipped his glasses back on, smiling a bit as he heard John throw down whatever toy he had previously been playing with to run to the entry hallway for who he knew would be arriving.  
“Dave!” John cried out excitedly as he smiled his signature goofy grin at his best friend. The child in question’s mouth quirked up on one side in a cool type of grin that would have looked ridiculous on any other child his age. “Hey John. ‘Sup?” he said, making Jake chuckle softly. Dave was adorable. Cool, but adorable. “Now, remember, little bro. Play nice, don’t do drugs, keep your glasses on, be cool.” said the blonde adult signing Dave’s name on the sign in sheet on Jake’s desk. “Play nice, don’t do drugs, keep your glasses on, be cool.” Dave repeated before running into the playroom with John. Jake couldn’t help but smile a bit wider. Bro Strider said the same thing to his youngest brother and adopted son every morning. Jake could remember him saying the same thing when he was younger to his other brother…. Whom he refused to think about at the moment. “Don’t worry, Mr. Strider, I’ll take good care of him.” Jake said. Bro chuckled. “I know, Jake. And I’ve told you, call be Dirk. I’ve known you since you were smaller than those rugrats.” the man said, making Jake roll his eyes, even though it was true. Bro Strider was in his late thirties, with blonde hair and eyes that he had never actually seen. Everyone in that family always wore sunglasses for whatever reason.  
Including….. Nope. Still not thinking about him. “Have a nice day, Mr. Strider!” Dirk called cheerily as the man walked out of the building once more, of to the newspaper company he wrote comic book strips for. Normally, Jake would spend the next few minutes contemplating his childhood and memories of Mr. Strider growing up, considering his middle brother had been Jake’s best friend. However, those memories were strangely painful at the moment, ever since last night when Mr. Egbert told him of his plan to propose to one of the women who had a child currently in the daycare and whose older daughter was a good friend of Jake’s. However, he didn’t have time to brood at the moment since another parent was already walking through the door. “Hello, Father Vantas.” greeted Jake as he smiled at the man in official church attire. “Hello, Jake. And how are you this morning?” he said in his deep, captivating voice. “As well as I can be.” he said, shrugging as he walked around the desk so he could actually see the child next to the taller man. As Signless Vantas signed in his son, Jake bent down, smiling wide, and tried once again to talk to the small boy. “And how are you today, Karkat? Anything new and exciting going on?” The boy’s already glaring expression hardened further. Karkat Vantas was six years old, but he was the smallest child in the entire daycare. He was exceedingly pale with bright red hair like the rest of his family. He crossed his arms in a way that was… exceedingly adorable. “Oh, I’m just peachy. I am being dropped off by my father at an establishment run by a complete looser to ‘play’ with my imbecile peers, in for what is sure to be a fun filled day of pain and irritation. Because what could possibly be more fun than a bunch of nose picking idiots, overused story books, colored wax, plastic bags of stuff with so much salt, sugar, and preservatives that it can really not even be called food, and toys older than me who have passed through who knows how many sticky hands over the years? Not to mention that, to top it all off, my overbearing brother who seems to think of himself as a second father wants to volunteer here now-” “Karkat!” The small, familiar voice of Jake’s little cousin interrupted Karkat’s rant. “Wanna come play with me and Dave?” he said excitedly. After a long pause, Karkat sighed. “If I must.” he finally said, before following John into the playroom. Despite his grumpy attitude, Jake had a feeling he was actually sort of happy to be playing with John and Dave.  
Jake straightened, turning to Signless once more. “Did I hear that Kankri wants to start volunteering here now?” Jake asked curiously.  
Signless nodded, smiling kindly as he always did. “Yes. He wishes to someday become a priest himself, and the more volunteer hours he gets before he graduates, the better chance he has in getting into a good catholic school with an abroad program.” “Well, I would be more than happy to have him. He can even come tomorrow, if you would like.“ Jake didn’t know Kankri very well. He was four years younger than himself, so he didn’t play too much with him in the daycare. He did, however, remember seeing him when he led around a group of eighth graders during high school orientation his senior year. The poor boy had gone to catholic school up until that point and was horribly out of place with the students who were used to public school. “You must be very proud.” Jake commented pleasantly. “Yes. I do hope that Karkat can learn from his brother… Don’t get me wrong, I love both of my sons, but… well, I believe that the touch of the Lord could do that boy some good.” Signless sighed. “Speaking of which, I have not seen you for a few Sundays now, Jake. Is something wrong? Your grandmother was there for every service.” “Ah, yes, well….” Jake felt a bit awkward at this. Personally, he had never been very religious. Not that he didn’t believe in some higher power. He just didn’t really have the time for church with everything else that had been going on. “I’ve been… a bit busy.” He said simply.  
Signless sighed. “Ah, I see. It’s your brother, isn’t it… for someone who is named after our holy father, I do believe that boy has fallen very far from heaven…” Jake wasn’t really sure how to respond to that. Instead, he simply kept quiet. “Well, I do hope things work out well for you. May god be with you, Jake.”  
“And also with you, Father.” he said simply, before waving as Signless left the building.  
Jake looked into the playroom to make sure that the three children currently there were alright. At the moment, the three boys were playing with a few sets of action figures Jake had just bought for the daycare two weeks ago.  
“I’m Batman.” he heard Dave say.  
“Why do you get to be batman?” An irritated Karkat said.  
“Because. Batman is cool. And I am cool. Therefore, I’m Batman.”  
“I wanna be Superman!” called John excitedly. “He wears blue.”  
“You can’t be Superman, Egdork. Batman kills Superman.” The Strider child said.  
“Nuh uh! Superman’s too cool to get killed!”  
Dave sighed and Jake could tell he rolled his eyes behind his sunglasses.  
“Fine. You can be superman.”  
“I’ll be this Spiderman.” Karkat stated.  
“That’s deadpool, doofus.”  
“Shut up, Nose picker! It looks like Spiderman.”  
“Well, it’s not. And you can’t be Spiderman or Deadpool.”  
“Why not?”  
“Because They’re from Marvel, and Superman and Batman are from DC.”  
Karkat just gave Dave a blank look. “Fine. Whatever. I’ll be iron man, then.”  
“Oh! If he’s iron man, can I be captain America?”  
“What? No, but-” Dave sighed, resigned. “Fine. Whatever. I’ll be Hulk.”  
Jake chuckled softly. Those kids were too cute. He turned as he heard the bell jingle, signaling another arrival…. And was almost knocked over as someone jumped up and hugged him tightly. “Pounce! Hi, Mr. Jake!” he heard a small, feminine child’s voice say. Jake chuckled, catching the small brown haired girl. “Hello, little miss Nepeta. And how are you today?” He never could figure out how she managed to jump high enough to wrap her arms around his neck. She was only an inch or two taller than Karkat.  
“I am simply purrfect!” she said, then jumped down from Jake’s arms. “Is Karkat here already?” she asked excitedly.  
“Nepeta, I believe it is in your best interest to settle down.” came a serious voice from behind the girl. Nepeta turned, allowing Jake to see the cat tail attached to the back of her tiny green hoodie, matching perfectly with the cat ear headband she wore, as she turned to face the voice. “Oh, Equius, don’t be such a party pooper.” she said, giggling at the boy. The boy in question sighed, straightening his broken sunglasses as he gently took the overly excited seven year old girl’s hand. Although they were the same age and had known each other all their lives, Equius held himself at a maturity far beyond his years, while Nepeta… Well, she was her own brand of girl, that’s for sure.  
“Sorry about that. Nepeta had insisted on extra sugar in her tea this morning, so she is a bit hyper. Mr. Zahaak had be take Equius since he got called into the mechanic shop early this morning.” Jake turned, smiling at Ms. Leijon. “That’s quit alright. I’m sure she’ll be settled before you come to pick her up.” he said, smiling kindly at the woman, who nodded gratefully. Disciple Leijon was a single mother of two girls, one of which was only 7 and minorly autistic and the other of which was a deaf teenager. Currently, she was holding down a job in a pet store, as a party entertainer, and volunteering at the church. Although, Jake suspected that the latter was due to her interest in Father Vantas. Not that she would ever admit it, although everyone but her knew that the feelings were indeed reciprocated. The woman signed in both children just as the door jingled once again.  
“Mr. English. Ms. Leijon.” said a deep, gravely voice that sent shivers down Jake’s spine. Both people looked up to see Highblood Makara walking in with his son, Gamzee. “Assistant Mayor Highblood.” Jake greeted with a curt nod. Not a lot was really known about the mayor, besides that he came from a wealthy family and it was suspected that he may use drugs. However, his son was a daycare frequent, so Jake was civil with him. “Goodbye.” Ms. Leijon said curtly before exiting. She never had forgiven him for his attempts to close down Mr. Vantas’s church, saying his preaching’s were too radical. The suspected real reason was that some of the poor people being housed in the church at the time had relations to a gang that rivaled one Assistant Mayor Highblood was suspected to be a part of. Of course, nothing was ever proven. Mostly because the man had far too much power. Without another word, only a sort of manic smirk, the mayor left the daycare. Jake released the breath he didn’t even know he had been holding.  
“Honk” Came a wavering, surprisingly deep for a child’s voice behind him, making Jake jump slightly.  
“Oh. Gamzee. I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there.”  
“Is Tavbro here yet?” the boy asked.  
Jake smiled a bit. Despite his (and everyone else’s) dislike of their father, no one had any real problems with his boys. In fact, Ms. Leijon’s daughter, Meulin, was currently dating his older son Kurloz, who was mute. “No, dear, he’s not here yet. Would you like to wait with me?” he asked. Gamzee smiled.  
“Honk.” he said simply, which Jake took as a yes. He lifted the child up to sit on his lap as he sat behind the desk once more. Before becoming assistant mayor, Highblood and his boys had been part of a circus. Most people suspect that he was already using drugs while in it, and joined a gang because of the mutual addictions of the members to said drug. Once again, none of this was proven. Any police investigations had been… canceled.  
Both boys looked up when the bell rang once more, signaling the entry of a blonde woman with a little girl who was so very like herself. “Hello, Ms. Lalonde.” Jake greeted. He couldn’t help the smile on his face as he remembered Mr. Egberts plans to propose to the woman at John’s sixth birthday party this weekend. “No need to be so formal, Jake. It’s only me.” The woman said in her voice that made almost anything sound sensual. She was very beautiful and looked much younger than her 43 years of age. Pale skin, full lips, beautiful eyes that were somehow pink in color, and hair so blonde it was almost white, not to mention a body that the average model would kill for. He wasn’t exactly sure what she did for a living, but he knew that she was completely loaded. Everything she wore was designer, and the small, almost identical little girl beside her wore designer clothes as well. Rose Lalonde was just six years old with the same blonde hair as her mother, though her eyes were violet. Ms. Lalonde’s other daughter, Roxy, was also very beautiful, and the same age as Jake.  
Too bad he didn’t swing that way.  
Ms. Lalonde signed little Rose in and left the daycare, not one to linger places unless there was alcohol. Rose went into the playroom, probably going straight to John or her cousin Dave.  
Surprisingly, Gamzee had been quiet this entire time. Probably because he wanted to wait for Tavros. Jake had a suspicion that he might be attracted to the boy, but he couldn’t be sure. He might also be slightly bias due to his own homosexuality and simply be hoping that one of the children in the schoolhouse would discover the same. Jake still remembered when he himself first figured it out….  
And he will not be remembering that right now. Oh look! More people!  
Gamzee’s lazy smile widened a bit as he hopped down from Jake’s lap and went to greet his friend. Little Tavros Nitram smiled wide as Gamzee ran over and hugged him. “Hey Tav bro. What’s happenin?” The face painted boy said.  
“Uh, nothing. I missed you, Gamzee!” he said with a wide, adorably grin. Gamzee’s smile widened further before he ran behind Tavros, taking the handles of the small boy’s wheelchair and pushing him into the playroom. Tavros giggles, his honey brown eyes twinkling with mirth. Of all the children in the daycare, as much as Jake hated to be bias, based on stereotypes, Tavros was probably the cutest. His light caramel skin completely unblemished and smooth except for the light splattering of freckles perfectly paced symmetrically across his nose and under his eyes, his gentle smile, his wide golden brown eyes like two pools of amber or honey, his sweet, hesitant voice, his tough guy act when he thought people were looking down on him. Even that little Mohawk his soft, curly chocolate brown hair was cut into. He was also the third smallest, just slightly larger than Nepeta, though you couldn’t really tell since his legs were virtually unusable. He was also very thin and small for his age of seven. Tavros had been born premature, and it had a few negative impacts on his health. The doctors say that there is the slightest chance he may someday possibly walk again, but it is taking a really long time for his muscles to build up enough strength, and he would still have to wear leg braces at the very least.  
In contrast, Summoner Nitram was, for lack of a better term, a moose. His other son, Rufio, was the same way. The man was almost as big as Mr. Zahaak, who was a body builder and had to actually turn sideways to fit through the average door. His features were all basically the same as Tavros’s, but as if someone took little Tav and filled him up like balloon or something. He was huge.  
Summoner signed Tavros in before leaving to go back and work on the ranch where the Nitrams lived. Really, Tavros usually wouldn’t even be in daycare. From a young age most kids in their neighborhood start working on their families farms. It isn’t as archaic as the old days, but still. Toddlers follow mommy and daddy or big siblings around and learn the trade, elementary kids start collecting eggs from chickens or watching over sheep or feeding livestock. Middle scholars start milking cows or harvesting and panting crops. By high school, they know it all like a professional. The Nitram farm is an all natural Dairy farm, one of the few that still treat it’s livestock with common decency of letting them graze in fields and reach a ripe old age before taking them to the butcher, instead of feeding them corn and locking them in pens all day so they get fat off the cheap resource and then slaughtering them the moment the milk dries up or a male reaches adulthood and has busted out a few calves from the girls. They had a few chickens, too, as well as horses for everyone in the family. Even Tavros, although he can’t ride it. The motion of the horse would bee too much on his fragile little hips. Still, Jake knew Tavros enjoyed his life on the farm. He was able to give the chickens some food and brush or clean some of the younger horses and cows who were small enough for him to reach. He adored animals, even if he wasn’t involved with them as his brother and father. Honestly, sometimes it seemed as if that family could talk to animals. Once, there had been a mouse in the schoolhouse and Tavros was able to catch it by having Gamzee help him sit on the floor and cupping his hands, saying, “Here little guy. Uh, I won’t hurt you.” The little creature ran straight to him.  
Once again, Jake was pulled from his internal monologue by the door opening and closing. “Hi Uncle Jake!” called a sweet little voice. Jake laughed lightly, standing and picking up the little girl who just ran inside.  
“Hey there, Jade. Golly, you have gotten big. I think you’ve grown an inch since I last say you!”  
The little green eyed girl giggled. “Uncle Jake, I just saw you two days ago!” she said, giggling.  
“Oh, of course. My mistake. You certainly are getting big, though.” he said, then set her down. “John, Dave, and Rose are already inside.” he said, chuckling as the little girl’s huge grin got even wider before she sped off into the playroom. Jake didn’t miss the way little Tavros’s eyes followed her as she walked in. Or the way Gamzee seemed a bit uneasy by the other boy’s attention on the girl. However, he didn’t say anything.  
“You don’t mind if she’s here, right? The café just keeps getting so swamped.” Jake looked up to see his old friend Jane, looking a bit exasperated as she signed Jade in.  
Jake laughed. “Janey, it’s a daycare. This is my job. Besides, Jade is my little cousin, and even if she wasn’t, you are still one of my best friends.”  
Jane’s face broke into a huge smile. “Thanks, Jake. Hey, uh…” She hesitated, blushing softly. “Do you want to maybe…. Grab a drink or something after work?”  
“No thanks! I don’t like to drink on weekdays. Don’t want to overdo it ad get a hangover while watching the kiddies.” he said, grinning, completely oblivious to Jane’s feelings for him or the invitation for a date.  
“Oh….Right…. Silly me…” she said softly, frowning. “Alright…. Uh… I should get back to work. Bye Jake.” She called, lacking enthusiasm.  
“Bye Janey!” Jake said, still oblivious. “Good old Janey…” Jake said softly with a sigh when the door closed once again. Jane had grown up fairly normal. She was John’s older sister and his dad‘s actual biological child, though she moved out when she turned 18 so never really spent time with John. This also made her not really Jake’s cousin, since his grandmother never exactly adopted Jane’s dad. She just sort of took him in and called him her adopted son. However, she still willed her bakery to Jane when she died. Meanwhile, Jade was Jake’s biological cousin that he never realized he had until she was about two. She had been raised by whoever Jake’s biological grandfather was. When he died, John’s dad probably would have adopted her, but Jane stepped in and did it first. She took great care of little Jade, even if she did try to get the little girl to see her as more of a big sister than a mom.  
“Alright. Enough reminiscing. Whose left?” Jake said, checking the list of usual children and looking into the playroom. Everything appeared to be running smoothly, although he did feel bad for not being in there with the kids. He just had to make sure he was at the door when they arrived so he could help any new parents and greet the kids. “I do hope Kankri decides to volunteer starting tomorrow. It would be excellent to have someone here so I could play with the kiddos.” he mumbled to himself with a soft sigh. As far as he could tell, only seven of the usuals had not arrived yet.  
Jake frowned a bit, thinking. Technically speaking, by law, the ratio of children to adults in any daycare had to be at most 5 to 1 with no more than a 2 child excess. However, to follow this law, Jake would need at least two more people to help out at the daycare, and he simply couldn’t afford to hire someone. Something he was sure his twin would There had to be something he could-  
“But dad-”  
“No buts, Cronus. I told you, if you get so much as a single detention one more time, you are grounded. No dances, no girls, no allowance, no nothing. And what do you do? You get suspended! For a week! Now I’ve got to drag your sorry butt around because there’s no way in hell you are staying home alone all that time. Really, Cronus, I have tried my best to let you live your life. I let you get the old beat up car you wanted, talked a friend into fixing it up for you for cheap, let you go off with anyone all hours of the night, dress however you want. I didn’t complain when I caught you smoking because you were 18, even though I know you started before that. You start fights with everyone, your grades are barely passing, and now what do you do? You get caught smoking on school property!”  
“Um…. Excuse me?” Jake said a bit awkwardly. Dualscar Ampora looked over at the green eyed man sitting behind the desk, blinking as if confused. At the door to the playroom, every little pair of eyes stared at the Ampora family.  
An awkward silence followed as everyone sort of just stared at each other… which was broken as a small boy broke away from his father and brother, going into the playroom. “Move aside plebeians.” Eridan Ampora said in an irritated and bored tone as he pushed past the other children. Jake winced a bit. Of all the kids in the daycare, Eridan was the most…. Narcissistic. He was adorable, yes, but…. Well, he was sort of a brat.  
“Orphaner, sweetheart, don’t yell so loudly. My dear little Feferi could hear you all the way in the car.” A woman said as she walked in, swaying her hips in a way that was, in Jake’s opinion, far too sensual for a daycare. She set down the beautiful little girl in her arms, who smiled at Jake before running into the playroom after Eridan. Without another word, Condense Peixes signed in her daughter. ‘I’ll be in the car. Don’t take too long.” the woman said before walking outside.  
“Uh… Right.” Orphaner said, signing in Eridan. Cronus, meanwhile, sat there looking bored and embarrassed.  
It was then that Jake had a brilliant idea. And by Jake, I mean Nepeta whispering in Jake’s ear. The little girl rushed forward, whispering in the mans ear, before rushing back to her peers. Jake smiled. Oh yes that was perfect. “Oh, Dualscar.” Jake said, calling the man by his nickname.  
Orphaner looked over at Jake. “Hm? Oh, right. Sorry for yelling, Jake. Just some…. Family issues.” He said, looking irritated.  
“Oh no, it’s alright. I completely understand. In fact… I have a solution that might solve both our problems.” he said, smiling innocently.  
Orphaner shrugged. “Alright. I’m all ears.” he said, as Cronus looked suspiciously between the two men, wondering what was happening.  
“Well, you see… I’m in need of some… assistance. Why don’t you have Cronus start coming here with Eridan. I’m opening up a volunteer program starting tomorrow. I already have someone else in Cronus’s grade signed up.”  
“What?!” Cronus said sharply, seeming angry.  
At the same time, however, Dualscar replied, “I accept.”  
“Excellent! I’ll have any paperwork ready tomorrow so he can take it to school with him when he gets back. Volunteer hours look good on any application for job or college, and the school might even be a bit more lenient on your son if they believe he is starting to try and better his community.” Jake said with a grin.  
Cronus, meanwhile, looked murderous, unable to speak at all.  
Dualscar opened his mouth to reply when he was just off by a loud beeping from outside. “I should go. See ya tomorrow, Jake.” he said, then turned to leave, grabbing Cronus’s arm and dragging him with him. Jake chuckled as the children all returned to their playing. As Jake turned back to his desk, he felt a soft tug on his arm. Looking down, he saw a smiling little Nepeta. “Look, Jake!” She said excitedly. Jake almost laughed at loud. The picture, obviously drawn in crayon and looking so much like a child’s drawing, was of who appeared to be Cronus and Kankri, dancing like Cinderella and prince charming.  
Only both boys were in ball gowns. Kankri in red and Cronus in violet.  
“That looks lovely, Nepeta. Here, go hang it on the wall.” he said, handing her a little piece of tape. Nepeta nodded, running back into the playroom. Unlike all the other children who drew the occasional picture and hung it on any wall, Nepeta had apparently claimed the back corner behind the curtain that served as the dress up changing room as her own little art gallery. Which was covered with pictures of people she saw as… well, as couples. It sometimes irritated her peers, but no one did anything about it. So there hung pictures of Eridan and Feferi cuddling. Of Tavros and Gamzee hugging. Of, Napata’s personal favorite, herself and Karkat kissing. Then again, there was also Karkat with John, Dave, Gamzee, Teresa….. Karkat appeared to be shipped with almost everyone. But the giant heart around her and Karkat let everyone know what her favorite was.  
Jake’s eyes fell on Eridan and Feferi as Feferi attempted to build a block tower and Eridan helped her make sure it was straight and even, completely perfect. Most of the children in this daycare center came from… troubled backgrounds. In fact, there wasn’t a single nuclear family among them. Rose was raised by her mom and her rich father was now dead. John was adopted. Jane was adopted. Dave’s parents died in a car crash and he lived with his brother. Tavros had both parents, but his mom was off in a war overseas. Karkat’s mom died of cancer when he was little, a cancer that he sort of caused due to the hard pregnancy with him weakening her immune system and making her more susceptible to toxins in the air, giving her lung cancer. Nepeta’s mom was divorced. Equius’s mom just sort of left. Gamzee didn’t even know who his mom was, and Jake wasn’t sure if his dad knew either. Eridan…..  
The Ampora-Peixes family was possibly the most complicated of them all. Both had been exceedingly rich families. Both had two children. Both divorced from their first marriage. However, it was no secret that Condense only married Orphaner for his money and more power. Together, the pair owned almost the entirety of Alternia City, with the exception of a few regions owned by Highblood Makara. However, she only cared about her kids. She could care less for Eridan and Cronus. Dualscar tried his best. He was a loving father to Meenah and Feferi as well as Cronus and Eridan, even if he was a bit lax on rules. He worked hard even though they had more than enough money, owning a company that made ships and weapons for navies across the world while Condense just… owned basically everything and got money just by being alive. It was also no secret that Condense was cheating on Dualscar. Oh, he suspected it. But he couldn’t prove anything. No one knew who it was. Well, except for the partners themselves…. And Jake. Because Jake could keep a secret. And Jake too care of everyone’s kids. And Jake knew everything and saw everything and heard it from the mouths of children. Little Kanaya had told him that her mommy had been leaving a lot late at night, looking sad and a little scared and saying that Condense had called her over to do some secretary work. Jake also knew from Eridan that his father was never home on those particular nights. It didn’t take long to put two and two together. But he kept his mouth shut.  
Delarosa Maryum had not always been that hags secretary. No, she was once an esteemed pediatrician. She was kind and everyone loved her. She still was. But the Condense bought her pediatric center and shut it down, moving all of the doctors to a normal hospital and opening up a floor for the pediatric center instead of an entire building t save money. Everyone was either moved or fired. Everyone except Rosa.  
Condense kept the woman on a short leash, paying her just enough to get by and buying her children gifts from “Aunty Condense” so they would be happy and not think anything was wrong. Delarosa couldn’t quit. She couldn’t disobey her. She would never find another job. Not in this town for sure. Maybe not in any town. It depended how deep Condense really had her long, disgusting fingers in everything.  
At that moment, as if summoned by his thought, Delarosa Maryum came into the building, holding a small girl every bit as beautiful and elegant as Feferi in her arms. “Go one and play dear. I’ll be back later.” Said Delarosa, putting her daughter down. “Bye, Mother. I love you!” Kanaya said, kissing her mother’s cheek. She then walked briskly into the playroom, Delarosa smiling softly as she went. The woman signed her daughter in then made her way to the door.  
“Have a nice day, Rosa.” Jake called, trying to sound casual but reassuring, not wanting her to know that he knew her secret.  
She paused for a moment, then smiled kindly at him. “I will try…” She said, then left.  
Jake sighed, glancing into the playroom. Kanaya was watching Feferi and Eridan with interest. The three weren’t exactly close, but they knew their mothers were friends, so they tolerated each other well enough. Eridan Ampora looked so much like Dualscar. The same ocean blue eyes, brown hair with that bit of red in the front that almost looked purple in some lighting. The only real difference was that Eridan wore thick glasses and a scarf to hide the marks on his neck. When he was just a baby and his mom still lived with them, Eridan’s first mother had gotten into quit the fight with their dad. She had only married him for his money, just like condense, but she had none of her own. She hated when Dualscar wouldn’t get her something she wanted, throwing a fit and drinking herself into a stupor. Dualscar couldn’t leave her, though. His children needed a mother.  
Then, one night, she went too far. She was way too drunk, and unlike all the other times, Eridan and Cronus hadn’t been in bed yet. Eridan was barely a three months old and Cronus was only just ten. Dualscar gathered his sons and a few of their things, saying he had had enough and was taking them to spend the night at their grandparents’ house.  
She didn’t like that. Not at all. She grabbed two bottles of beer from the counter and thrower them at dualscar, who immediately pushed cronus behind him and held Eridan tightly with his other arm. He took most of he hits himself, the glass shattering against his arms and chest. The pieces flew everywhere, beer soaking Dualscar and the baby in his arms, who wailed as glass fell into the tightly bundle blanket and cut into one side of his neck. Cronus, meanwhile, tried to shield his face, the glass instead cutting his arms and a small section of his forehead and neck as he turned away, running alcohol from his eyes and trying not to cry. Dualscar, on the other hand, was cut terribly. His face, his chest, his arms, his neck, even pat of his stomach. The alcohol stung like hell as he fled the house, getting his sons in the car and flooriting out of there before his wife could do anything else. He drove to the hospital, calling the cops on his way. The story was in the papers the next day, Eridan’s mom was put in prison, and all three were left with scars, physical and emotional, that would never fade. Rumor had it that Cronus still had nightmares and panic attacks about it and he only was deemed “Recovered” three moths after the incident because he faked it to his therapist.  
But that, of course, was just a rumor.  
Ferefi, meanwhile, had quite a different story. Her hair was like the color of the blackest ocean, falling in smooth, shining waves down to her hips just like her mother’s. Her skin was lightly sun kissed, and her eyes were as much like the ocean as Eridan’s, though hers more ocean green rather than blue. She wore these glasses that were almost like an old lady’s, round and pink with little diamonds in the corners, but the little girl somehow pulled it off.  
Kanaya, meanwhile, was beautiful in her own way. While Feferi held the sort of regal aura of an empress, Kanaya seemed almost like a queen, in control and properly balanced, though less ostentatious. She wore a simple green dress, while Feferi wore a lavish pink one. Her hair was cut short to her ears in a way that was practical, yet still pretty. Her eyes were a jade green, shimmering like jewels but more constant and sure than the shifting ocean in feferi’s eyes. It made her seem wise far beyond her years. And made Jake even more sad thinking of he family life.  
Kanaya wasn’t the only child who has suffered from Condense’s power. The door opened again, revealing a very thin, yet still somehow muscular man, a child on either side of him. “Hey, Psi!” Said Jake, smiling at the Psionic Captor.  
“Hey Jake.” The man replied, smiling back. “Go one and play, Sollux and Aradia.” he said, nudging the smaller of the two boys and his little friend towards the playroom. Sollux nodded, going off to play with the other kids, followed by the little red headed girl as his father signed the pair in.  
“How’s cyber school going, Mituna?” Jake asked casually. Mituna Captor was 14 years old, a freshman in high school, but due to mental issues couldn’t attend public school.  
“Fine.” he said with a shrug.  
“Learn any new skateboarding tricks?” Jake tried again.  
“No. Tulip has a competition coming up soon, though. Dad says he might let me go.” He replied. Jake nodded, smiling. Mituna had been one of the last kids he volunteered with while working for his grandmother, so Jake felt closer to him than the other high scholars. He had always been quiet, since he lisped and other kids made fun of him for it. Which usually led to an… episode.  
Psionic had been the main inventor of new medical technology for the hospital. He was insanely intelligent and loved helping people. When she shut down the hospital, she hired him on as her personal mechanic. She didn’t do the things she did with Delarosa to him, but the job was still awful. Condense didn’t care about public safety. More than once Psionic had come home with bruises and burns from being shocked by a loose wire or crushed by a heavy board or loose pipe while he was fixing something for her. She was cheap ad greedy, so he was her fix it guy for…. Everything.  
Mituna was born with anxiety, but it was fairly manageable until… that day….  
It was just about a month after Eridan’s mom went to prison. Dualscar was desperate to find a wife, and heard about a speed dating session happening at a café in the city. Figuring it couldn’t hurt, he decided to go. Condense had been sending spies to watch the man for weeks by this point, wanting his money and his property more than anything. She had married a super old guy that she hadn’t expected to last a year, let alone lasting the years and fathering her two children. But he was dead at this point and she was on the prowl for fresh doe. The only issue was that her car was being fixed at the time. She waited impatiently for Psionic to finish. The moment he said he was done, the woman took off, paying no attention to speed limit. She owned the police department. No one could touch her.  
But she didn’t wait for Psionic to get out of the way first.  
Because she needed to be able to call her mechanic at all hours of the night, the Captors lived in a small 2 bedroom house on their property. When six year old Mituna came home from school that day….. Well, lets just say that Psionic wasn’t the only one the ambulance ended up needed to pick up.  
When they got out of the hospital, Psionic’s long time girlfriend and at that point fiancé, Mituna’s mother, begged him to quit. But he couldn’t. If he did, they could end up poverty stricken. He needed that job to support them. Enraged, the woman left. Psionic knew she would go to the police. He waited for her to come home.  
She never did.  
Three months later, Psionic woke up one morning to find a baby on his doorstep with a sticky note posted to its forehead reading some coordinates. After some tests were done, it was determined that the baby was indeed his newborn son, one he didn’t even know his girlfriend had been pregnant with. At first, he was ecstatic. He had another son. His wife was alive.  
Or, at least, a day ago she had been alive.  
They checked the coordinates, finding them to lead to a riverbank, splattered with something red.  
A DNA test was done.  
They never found a body. But they didn’t need to to know what happened.  
Psionic always suspected Condense, but he could do nothing. If he went against her, he could loose his job. Or worse, his boys. No one else knew the whole story except the Captor family and Jake, who they confided in.  
Aradia, on the other hand, had a fairly normal childhood. She was half Scottish and half Japanese. Her father owned a software company in Japan, where her sister was currently attending high school, while Aradia stayed with her mother. The family spent every holiday, break, and summer together in Japan, as well as whenever her dad could get off work in America. Just a happy family with slightly unique circumstances.  
“What’s this?” Jake was pulled from his thoughts by Mituna’s voice.  
He blinked, looking at what he had been referring to, finding it to be his own computer screen. “Oh, I’m opening up a volunteer program for high school kids. I was just typing up an advertisement for it and some slips so the volunteers can have proof of their service.”  
Psionic smiled a bit. “Well, that’s a nice idea. Got any takers yet?”  
“Yeah, two actually. I think we’ll really-”  
“Can I join?” Jake was interrupted. Both Psionic and Jake turned to look at Mituna.  
“uh… what did you say, son?” Psionic asked, looking worried, as if he didn’t hear him right.  
“I want to volunteer.” Mituna said simply.  
Jake and Psionic looked at each other, not really sure if that was a good idea or not, but at the same time not wanting to argue. However, after a long pause…  
“Of course you can, Mituna.” Jake smiled at the boy.  
Psionic’s eyes widened. “Jake, are you sure? I mean….” Psionic didn’t want to say it out loud, but Jake knew what he meant. What if he had a panic attack? Or if he couldn’t handle the kids? How would he react?  
“I’m sure, Psi.” Jake said, smiling kindly at his friend. Psionic slowly smiled, ruffling Mituna’s hair, who smiled back. “Just be here tomorrow. Try to come early so I ca explain some of the rules and procedures to you, alright?”  
“Alright!” Said Mituna, smiling wider. “Bye Mr. English!” Mituna said as they left. On the way out, Jake saw Psionic mouth “Thank you.”  
Jake smiled. He was finally going to get some help around here. And, maybe, he could even help these teens a bit along the way. After all, each of them did have quite a few problems they were working through. This could be a learning experience for all of them.  
“Let’s see. That just leaves-”  
“I told you I should have drove!”  
Jake chuckled as he was cut off by a loud, obnoxious and all too familiar voice.  
“You can’t drive. It’s illegal!” Said another loud and equally obnoxious voice.  
“Oh, what, so just because I’m blind I can’t drive? That’s prejudice!”  
“There’s my favorite Lesbian couple.” Said Jake in a jesting tone.  
“There’s my favorite closet gay.” Said a woman with long dark hair and one eye that shone like a sapphire while the other was dull and lifeless.  
Jake rolled his eyes. “You cannot prove that.”  
“Oh please. I’m telling you, Jake, this eye may look useless, but it really gives me super powers. I see what cannot be seen. And I see… you are in the closet and the door is locked.”  
Jake laughed as the woman beside her with short orange hair nodded in agreement. “And what about you, Redglare? Can you ‘see’ that I’m a closet gay?”  
“Psh. No!” the woman, Redglare, said as if that was ridiculous. “I can Smell it!” That had Jake laughing even harder. Redglare Pyrope and Mindfang Serket were only a year older than Jake. When they turned 18, they decided to run away to Vegas together, get married, get a couple of sperm donations, and pop out two girls. Everyone thought they were crazy. Scratch that, everyone knew they were crazy.  
But that didn’t matter. It didn’t even matter that they fought like cats and dogs and made crude jokes as if their 5 year old daughters were not right there. They loved each other.  
And they also somehow knew that Jake was gay. Which he denied vehemently. Because no one was allowed to know that.  
The pair signed their daughters in as the girls, like mini versions of their mothers, argued and made their way into the playroom. “See ya later, Jake!” Said Redglare as Mindfang waved. Jake waved back, sighing in relief when the door closed. Finally, everyone was here. Which meant he could go play with the kiddies now and, for a few brief, blissful hours, just forget about everything he had to do. Every problem in his life.  
And maybe he could help them forget too.  
If only for a little while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Welp! There you have it. Chapter two.  
> Which was long as hell.  
> Got any requests for the next chapter? What’s that? You thought this was a Jake x Dirk Story? Why it is, my child! But you seem to be forgetting. Jake is repressing memories of a certain someone for certain reasons. Reasons to be revealed in the next chapter.  
> Mwahahahahaha.  
> So! Who do you have more? Lord or Condense? Who is your favorite child? Tell me!  
> Any suggestions? TELL ME!  
> Any ships you want? TELL ME!  
> I will also be switching the 3rd person POV at some points. Right now, it has been all Jake. The next 2 chapters will also be Jake because… Well. You’ll see J  
> Who should I do next?  
> TELL ME!


	3. Tick Tock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Daily Schedule, A Flashback, and An Unexpected Twist....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Well, here we are. The much anticipated Chapter 3. Why is so anticipated You shall see.
> 
> Hey look! I’m Doctor Seuss!
> 
> Okay, lets try again.
> 
> Let’s get on with this chapter so we can see Dirk
> 
> Instead of more author’s notes that make author-senpai seem like a jerk.
> 
> Mwahahahahaha!
> 
> This is fun.
> 
> Okay okay, I’m done now.
> 
> Enjoy!

“Mr. Jake!” Jake was immediately assaulted by a tiny army of adorable midgets the moment he walked into the playroom. Terezi and Vriska each grabbed one of his legs, John and Jade were swinging from his arms like monkeys, and Nepeta jumped onto his back, clinging to him in a strangling surprise piggy back ride. Luckily, Jake was pretty darn strong. He was also used to this by now.  
With a sort of expertise, he was able to set his cousins down, release the sisters, and spin Nepeta onto his front so he could gently set her down on the ground as well, ruffling the little’s girl’s hair, careful not to mess up her headband.  
“Mr. Jake, can you draw with us?” Terezi asked, and Nepeta nodded enthusiastically and Equius standing close by.  
“No way! He wants to play action figures! They’re cool!” Said Dave, and John and Karkat nodded in agreement with him.  
“Uh, Mr. Jake, can you read me and Gamzee a fairy tale?” Tavros piped in.  
“No way! He should build blocks with us!” Eridan said, gesturing to Feferi and Kanaya.  
At once, all of those children began arguing over who Jake would play with, except for Rose, who was throwing a tea party with… what looked like a wizard doll, an octopus plush, and an alien balloon, Vriska, who was planning on ruining said tea party and stealing the cookies Rose had brought as a snack, and Sollux and Aradia, whom Vriska was attempting to persuade to join her ‘pirate crew‘ so they could pillage their ‘sweet treasure‘. However, Jake was undeterred. After all, he had been doing this for years. “Why don’t we check the schedule and see what we have planned for today, shall we?” Jake said, smiling. Some of the children looked a bit disappointed, but nodded. After all, without a proper schedule the daycare would fall into chaos. He should know. It happened the first few days of his ownership of this place.  
“Now, lets see…” Jake said, looking at the dry erase board on the wall. He already knew what was on it, of course. He was the one who made the schedule, after all. To some people, a set schedule at a daycare may seem odd. However, his grandmother ran this place more like a school, but with games instead of classes, and all of the children seemed to benefit from it, so Jake would continue that tradition. “It looks like first we have story time, then art, followed by songs, then games, then snack, nap, and free play until your parents come and pick you up.” He said cheerfully. Every day, the schedule held some for of variation through these seven activities. The only ones that stayed the same were snack, nap, and free play, and only because he didn’t want any child to feel left out by needing to leave during another activity and a proper eating and nap regimen was healthier on growing children then moving those around. In addition, seven activities meant that every child would get a chance to lead an activity every two days, cycling through the activity until every child got a chance. The story time leader picked a book, the songs leader chose three songs they would either sing or play to with the plastic drums and maracas in the room, the games leader would choose a game from a few choices Jake would give them and would pick captains (almost always choosing themselves and their best friend) The snack leader got to choose and pass out snacks from the storage room, the nap leader got to help the other children get their mats and turn off the lights, the art leader got to choose whether they were working with clay, paint, crayons, or little things from a craft bin like macaroni and buttons, and the free play leader, everyone’s favorite, got to play with Jake. “Now, lets see. Who were our leaders yesterday?” John, Dave, Nepeta, Terezi, Tavros, and Aradia all reluctantly rose their hands. “Now, hold on. I know there is one more. Come on, then. Raise your hand.” Slowly, Eridan’s hand went up. “Uh huh. I thought so Alrighty, then! Jade, Rose, Sollux, Vriska, Gamzee, Feferi, and…. Ah yes! Karkat! You seven are todays leaders. Now, who hasn’t gotten a chance to be story leader yet this week?” Rose, Jade, and Sollux all raised their hands. “Rose, why don’t you go today. Alright. What about… art? Jade it is, then! Feferi, why don’t you do songs today. Who hasn’t been Games leader yet? Vriska it is, then! Sollux, would you like to do snack? And Gamzee, that leaves you for nap, and Karkat, you will be free play leader for today! Everyone have a job who needs one? Excellent! Rose, why don’t you go pick a story, then?”  
He day went fairly smoothly from there. Rose ended up picking a story about a little witch who keeps inviting strange, misfit animals to ride on a broom with her entitled “Room on a Broom.” Jade decided that they should use the craft bin for art, so they ended up with a bunch of glittery shapes made of macaroni and buttons and all sorts of things. For songs, Feferi picked two songs from the little mermaid, Part of Your World and Under the Sea, followed by Octopus’s Garden from the Beatles. Next was games. Which was… much too eventful to simply summarize in a single sentence.  
The air outside had been cool, the end of August quickly approaching and the earliest of September breezes sweeping against the green grass, enticing Jake to invite the children outside for games today, much to their delight. While inside, they played things like Seven Up or Four Corners or Charades, outside games were rigorous sports or elaborate make believe competitions by the games leader. And today, the class was in for a real treat, for Vriska was the games leader.  
While everyone always enjoyed their time as the Games leader, Vriska thrived on it. The little girl’s mind was always filled with scenarios of elaborate heists and other dastardly deeds. All in good fun, of course. So no one was surprised when she announced that she had devised a very special treasure hunting game, one that would include 4 teams rather than just two. While the class waited patiently with their eyes closed, Jake would hand each team a ‘treasure’ to hide in their section of the schoolyard, similar to capture the flag. However, this game was not over when a team got another’s item, and there were no guards. Instead, each team would be pirates, pillaging the other team’s “villages” (section of schoolyard) until you find the item. You can only be in your area if another team has already retrieved one item and is now after yours. In that case, your goal is not to guard your item, but to plunder theirs and make off with it before they can leave your area. If your item is taken and you have no other items of other teams, your team is out. The first team with all four items wins.  
All of the children thought this was a wonderful idea, and quickly Vriska dictated the teas. Well, sort of, anyways. “I get John on my crew! The rest of you can go wherever you want,” were her exact words. In the end, the teams were as follows.  
Captain Eridan and his crew, Feferi, Sollux, and Tavros  
Captain Terezi and her crew, Dave, Nepeta, and Equius.  
Captain Vriska and her crew, John, Aradia, and Gamzee.  
Captain Karkat and his crew, Jade, Kanaya, and Rose.  
((Authors interrupting note: What? Pair the children into teams specified by some of the most popular pairing of each character in the fandom? Psh. No! Of course not! Why would I engage in such….glorious debauchery……But wait? Tavros, Aradia, Sollux, and Gamzee should be switched, right? Hm…..))  
Jake blew his special whistle and the team were off. Vriska’s teams treasure was a little eye patch she had found in the dress up box, perfect for a pirate. Terezi’s was a packet of skittles form the snack room, perfect children’s treasure.  
((Authors interrupting note: Taste the Rainbow, Terezi XD))  
Eridan’s was a mermaid plush, and Karkat’s team had a stuffed octopus picked by Rose.  
(“Why would you ever want this to be our treasure?” he yelled angrily as they hid it in the bushes. “Do not underestimate Mr. Tentacles.” Rose said flatly. Karkat looked like he was about to flip, while Jade was just worried all his yelling would reveal their hiding spot. “I like it.” Kanaya piped in, which just made Karkat sigh in resignation. Jake was pretty sure that conversation would have had more swearing in it from the only boy on his team’s side had he been a bit older.)  
Karkat’s team had been out first, since Vriska heard him yelling ad they were able to get the octopus before his team even had time to exit their section, such to the small boy’s displeasure. However, not wanting to be a sore looser, all four children came over to where Jake was waiting with little stickers for everyone. Because they were all winners in his book.  
The next 10 minutes were pretty tense, every team swapping items and stealing and searching. For a while, it seemed as if it would be a three way stalemate as all four items were found, two in Vriska’s possession and one in the other 2 teams. And then, Vriska stole Terezi’s item when her back was turned, taking it right out of little Nepeta’s hands when she wasn’t paying close enough attention. Equius comforted the saddened girl as they all joined the other loosing team, receiving their stickers and watching the final two team. All odds seemed in Vriska’s favor. She reached out, about to swipe the final item fro under Eridan’s nose, and then-  
Jake blew the whistle. “Eridan’s crew wins!” He yelled triumphantly. Everyone cheered. Except Vriska. “What? How?” She demanded. Then, she turned and saw Gamzee. Who had just placed all their items in Tavros’s lap.  
Tavros blushed lightly, confused but excited. He had won the game for their team!  
“Gamzee Makara, what did you do that for? You cost us the game!” Gamzee shrugged, smiling. “He asked really nicely.” he responded. Vriska looked ready to explode as everyone made their way inside, congratulating the little paraplegic.  
The rest of the day had gone fairly uneventfully. For snack, Sollux chose honey graham crackers and, upon request from a certain blonde, apple juice. Nap time had gone smoothly, with only some argument from Vriska and Karkat. Then, finally, it was freeplay. As expected, Karkat had opted to play with John and Dave with the action figures, and Jake complied, being Aqua man (which mused the other boys for some reason. Jake didn’t really see what was wrong with aqua man.) However, it wasn’t the game itself that made Jake feel as if his heart was in his throat. No, it was something that happened In the middle of it. John had messed up a quote from one of the movies his figure was in and Dave corrected him, embarrassing the small boy. “Hey, what ya blushing for?” Dave asked. John shook his head. ‘Come on, Egdork, it was a simple mistake. Don’t overreact. I don’t think any less of you for it.” “….promise?” John asked, his big blue eyes shining. Dave chuckled, ruffling his hair, then locking his pinkie with the other boy’s. “Pinkie promise!”  
***FLASHBACK SERIES THAT SUDDENLY HITS JAKE LIKE A FREAKING TIDALWAVE BECAUSE HE HAS BEEN SUPPRESSING THEM ALL DAY***  
Jake sat on the rug of the playroom, moving his car around the race track he and Dirk had built out of blocks. “Vroom vroom!” they both say as their cars move quickly. Jake pauses when he hears Dirk stop. “Why’d your car stop, Dirk? Did it gets a flat tire?” the little four year old asked.  
Dirk chuckled. “Get, Jake. And no it did not. You just have apple sauce on your face form snack.” he said.  
Jake tilted his head, confused. “I do?” he asked curiously, making the blonde laugh again and nod.  
Jake watched as Dirk licked his thumb, then gently wiped it over the sticky spot beside Jake’s mouth. “There. All better!” Dirk said, smiling.  
Jake smiled back. “Thanks, Dirk!” he said, lurching forward and hugging Dirk tightly.  
He felt the blonde stiffen before hugging back. “You really are helpless. How are you going to take care of yourself when you get older if you can’t even keep your face clean?”  
“Well…. I’ll have you to help me then!” Jake said, smiling at his friend and pulling out of the hug.  
He barely noticed Dirk’s blush at his words. “…You know what?” The blonde said, before his face broke out into a wide grin. “Alright! I’ll take care of you , Dirk. But to do it forever, I’m gonna have at marry you.” he said, almost warningly.”  
“Um…. Okay!” The dark haired child responded.  
Dirk laughed. “Seriously?” he said, and Jake didn’t realize at the time he had only been joking.  
“Seriously!” Jake said, nodding his little head.  
“Alright, then. It’s a promise. We’ll be together forever, and I’ll take care of you, and when we grow up we’ll get married.” Dirk said, sticking out his pinkie.  
“Yeah!” Jake said, locking pinkies with him.  
*5 years later*  
It was the day of their Daycare Graduation. Jake and Dirk stood in their paper graduation caps in the row of other almost 9 year olds, smiling and eating cake as grandma made a speech that only the parents were really listening too. Jake looked up when he heard Dirk chuckle. “What?” he asked softly, not wanting to get caught talking during the speech.  
“You have frosting on your face.” Dirk whispered back, grabbing a napkin and wiping it off. Jake blushed lightly. By now, while he didn’t really know what even a crush was, he knew he felt… something when he was around Dirk.  
“Thanks…” he said simply.  
Dirk chuckled. “No problem… it’s my job, remember?” he said, almost hesitantly.  
Jake looked at him, then smiled. “Yeah…” he said, sticking out his pinkie.  
Dirk blushed. “Woah, you really remember that promise?” He said, disbelieving.  
Jake nodded. “Of course! We’re gonna get married when we grow up. And we’ll be together forever.” he said.  
Dirk smiled, nodding. “Right…” he said, and they locked pinkies. As the speech ended, the pair and all of the other kids threw off their caps, smiling wide.  
*7 years later*  
Jake sat against the wall of the gymnasium, looking around at all the couples dancing around him. It was his freshman homecoming dance, and his date had bailed on him. He should have known she was only after Dirk….  
He should have known Dirk would be after her. After all, they were both so attractive. And she was female. There was no way someone like Dirk could ever be-  
“Hey.” Jake looked up into a pair of familiar sunglasses.  
“…..Hey Dirk.” He replied softly, though he felt like running away.  
“…..Wana dance?” he aksed.  
Jake looked up, eyes wide. “What? But-”  
“It’s the last song of the night. So we better hurry.” Dirk said, grabbing Jake’s hand before he could really answer.  
“Dirk! What if… What if someone sees! I mean…”  
“Sh.” Dirk pressed a finger to Jake’s lips, hushing him, and placed his hands on Jake’s hips. Jake blushed, wrapping his arms around Dirk’s neck. “I don’t care. After all… they’ll all see us together one day, right?” Dirk said, sticking up his pinkie, almost hopefully.  
Slowly, Jake smiled, locking pinkies with him. “Yeah….”  
*1 year later*  
Jake coughed up water, gasping for breath and trying his best to struggle away from the bullies holding him. He screamed out in pain as he was thrown onto the bathroom floor hard, still coughing up toilet water. His hair was soaked and he had no idea where his glasses were. “P-Please, stop!” he begged as another bully advanced close. Jake was pretty sure there were three of them, but it was hard to tell with everything so blurry. His please were only met with cruel laughter. They had been at this for over an hour, giving him swirlies punching him, kicking him, slapping him, calling him horrible names. They blamed him for Dirk not spending as much time with them anymore, saying he turned him into a ‘queer’. Jake was pretty sure his nose was broken, and his lip must be split because he tasted blood. But that wasn’t the worst part. No, the worst part was what they did to his arm. There, carved with a pocket knife, one of them had held him down and writing ‘faggot’. It still dripped fresh blood. Jake knew that would scar.  
Jake closed his eyes, tearing up slightly, and prepared for whatever happened next.  
It didn’t come. The silence was followed by a series of thuds and grunts, then more silence. Jake tensed when he felt someone grab his shoulders. However, he relaxed slightly as he was pulled to a warm and familiar chest. Dirk gently slid Jake’s spare pair of glasses onto his face, holding him close as he sat on the bathroom floor. Jake cuddled to him, crying into his shirt.  
“I’m sorry….” Jake finally said.  
“For what?” Dirk asked, seeming in disbelief.  
“I-I…. It’s my fault you haven’t been spending t-time with your friends as much… They miss you a-and… and now some of them won’t be your friend because of me…”  
“Oh, Jake…none of this is your fault. Their idiots. And you shouldn‘t blame yourself…” Dirk said, shaking his head. “What am I going to do with you?” he said, sighing.  
“….Take care of me? Forever?” Jake said, sticking out his pinkie. Dirk’s eyes locked with his, and they smiled.  
“….yeah.”  
*3 years later*  
“I can’t believe this is really happening!” Jake whispered excitedly. Today was their senior graduation. The ceremony had just ended, and the final speeches were being made. Due to some persuasion with another student, Jake had managed to get himself seated next to Dirk. Dirk nodded back, smiling his signature cool grin at him, and Jake couldn’t help but stare. Dirk took his breath away. And he still would, next year. They were both planning on going to Princeton next year, no matter what happened. It was their dream.  
“…Hey, Jake? I was wondering… Since High School is over and all that drama is behind us…. Do you want to… you know… be official? Like a couple?” Dirk asked.  
Jake’s eyes widened. Over the many years of knowing him, Dirk had never had a relationship with anyone at all. Jake sort of was beginning to fear that the promise they made so long ago was just a useless dream of kids. But now….  
A slow smile crept onto Jake’s face. “We already are darling, remember?” he said, holding up his pinkie.  
Dirk laughed, a real laugh, not a cool chuckle or a snicker. “Come here, you goofball.” Dirk said, and as the caps were thrown into the air and fell around the pair, Dirk Strider pulled Jake English close, sealing their long ago made promise with a kiss.  
*24 hours later……*  
“Ow…. My head…” Jake groaned, sitting up. He was in an unfamiliar house, obviously after someone’s graduation party. Judging by the size of the house, probably Roxie’s. Luckily he was fully clothed. No need to loose his first kiss and virginity in the same day. Speaking of which… Where the bloody hell was Dirk?  
Jake wandered through the house, stumbling over passed out bodies and empty bottles of who knows what. Finally, he heard a familiar laugh from the back porch. Jake made his way there…. Only to freeze at what he saw.  
There, sitting and laughing like he was the happiest man alive, was Dirk.  
And sitting beside him, dressed in… were those Jake’s clothes?…. Was Lord.  
Jake watched in horror as Dirk leaned in and sealed his lips with his brother’s.  
His heart shattered.  
He let out a strangled sound as he tried to catch his breath. Dirk turned quickly at the sound, his brow furrowing in confusion before he looked between Lord and Jake. It was only then that he noticed the slightly manic glint in the eyes of the boy beside him, the shifty way he smiled, like he was playing a joke on the entire world.  
A look that would never be on Jake’s face.  
“Jake-” Dirk tried to call, but it was too late. Jake was gone, running out of the house.  
*Present….*  
1 week later, his grandmother had died. Jake accepted the daycare. Dirk went off to Princton. And they had not seen each other, or even talked to each other, since….  
For the most part, Jake was easily able to forget. In fact, he hadn’t thought about Dirk in months, and before that it was only a few passing seconds of remembered conversation. Until last night. Last night, Jake had a dream. A dream of what could have been. A dream of having woken up that graduation morning and finding Dirk beside him. Of kissing him and of pleasant dates. Of soft I love yous and, eventually, of a happy little wedding….  
And that dream had opened a floodgate. A floodgate of pain he had kept at bay for 4 long years. A floodgate that was now open.  
“Daddy!” Jake blinked, being pulled out of his memory by John standing and running to the door. Sure enough, there at the playroom entrance was Mr. Egbert. Jake smiled, masking his pain, and went over to the front desk. Slowly but surely, children began filing out of the Lil’ Ol’ Schoolhouse, Jake cleaning up after them as they did so. Finally, only one child remained.  
“Where’s Bro, Dave? He’s usually quite punctual…” Jake asked, tilting his head a bit as he waited with the little blonde boy by the front door. The small child simply shrugged.  
For a few moments, they sat there in silence, simply waiting. Then, finally, the door opened.  
Jake smiled. “Finally. I was just about to call and see what was taking so-”  
Jake stopped, feeling like his breath had been cut off as he looked at the figure standing before him at the door.  
“…..Dirk?” he choked out in disbelief.  
“….Jake….” the blonde man said, breathing his name as if afraid actually speaking I would make him shatter into a million little pieces.  
“……And I’m Dave.” The littlest blonde said, unaware of the dams that were shattering in the room, of the momentous power between the two adults before him, of the memories clashing in a storm of pain and love and hate and sadness and regret.  
“…..And I’m Thirsty.” Dave said, and went to get an apple juice from the storage closet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Oh that was so much fun to right XD Sorry for the depressing flashbacks. So now you know why Jake hasn’t talked to Dirk. And now Dirk is actually in this, which is good too. And now Dave is getting his juice box, which is excellent. So. WHAT SHOULD HAPPEN NEXT??????????????????????  
> TELL ME!!!!!!!!!!  
> The next chapter will involve the Egbert/Lalonde engagement party. Dirk will be invited. What happens? DO they kiss and make up? DO they pinkie promise and make up? Does Jake thro the cake at Dirk in a fit of rage? Any original ideas?  
> TELL ME!


	4. Ice Cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake's Nightmare or Dream Come Trus?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello, people of reader land! So, as of 2/19/17, this story will be able to be read on both Quotev and archive of our own. Just so you know that neither source is plagiarized or whatever. IF YOU SEE ANY OTHER EXAMPLES ON ANY OTHER SOURCE PLEASE TELL ME. Those would be stolen. Which is not nice. Anywho, Quotev was not getting a lot of readers, so I decided to make an ao3 account too. Hopefully that helps because I really want people to like this story.... Anywho, enjoy this chapter!

“…..Dirk?” he choked out in disbelief.  
“….Jake….” the blonde man said, breathing his name as if afraid actually speaking I would make him shatter into a million little pieces.  
“……And I’m Dave.” The littlest blonde said, unaware of the dams that were shattering in the room, of the momentous power between the two adults before him, of the memories clashing in a storm of pain and love and hate and sadness and regret.  
“…..And I’m Thirsty.” Dave said, and went to get an apple juice from the storage closet.

Jake wasn't sure exactly how long he stood there, simply staring at Dirk. Many times he had imagined what this moment would be like, reuniting with the man ho had once meant so much to him. He imagined slow smiles and forgiving hugs. Or he imagined lustful rushes of hormones and passionate kisses. Or he imagined tearful confusion. Violent anger. Never, in all his imaginings, had he pictured this. Staring frozen, almost afraid to breath, as if that small exhale would blow Dirk away like a dusty mirage.  
But this was no mirage.  
This was real.  
Dirk strider was standing in front of him, looking at him with a completely neutral expression. Somehow, that blank poker face hurt more than even a hateful scowl would. A scowl would be... something. Tears would be something. A smile, a smirk, a laugh, a shout, a scream, anything. This.... This was nothing. Dirk never looked at him like that, like he was just any other blurry face passing on the road.  
Jake tried to recall If he had done anything that would anger Dirk, to make him look at him like that. And then, he returned to his sences. No, he hadn't done anything. It was Dirk.  
All of his previous memories came rushing back to him all at once, this time like a knife being slammed into his chest, cutting through his fragile hard, severing tissue and muscle and bone s if it were butter. Only this pain came from inside, as if his heart was stabbing itself. Or, at least, a piece of his heart was. Most likely, the piece that he had given to Dirk. The piece that he had rejected and thrown away, stomping on it while he made out with Jake's twin brother.  
Jake's internal rant of self pity was broken by a rather loud slurping sound. He blinked, being brought back to reality and looking towards the source of the sound. There beside him stood the little blonde child, sucking down the remains of his favorite drink from the small cardboard container.  
"Don't fill up too much, lil' bro. Mr. Egbert said there would be a lot of food at the party."  
".....The.... party?" Jake said slowly, trying to process exactly what was going on.  
"It's just juice, Dirk." Dave said, in a tone that made Jake realize that the little boy was most likely rolling his eyes behind those sunglasses.  
Dirk sighed, looking at Jake. "Yeah, uh... The surprise early birthday party for John? Dave was invited, and since Bro had some extra work to take care of and won't be done until, like, an hour into the party...."  
"You're coming to the party...." Jake said, his voice barely above a whisper. Dirk slowly nodded. Jake said nothing. How could he? What do you possibly say to someone who you have not seen in years, who you both love and hate so much.....  
No. No, he didn't love Dirk anymore. He couldn't love Dirk anymore..... He just couldn't. He couldn't deal with someone who was only going to break his heart......  
"Sign Dave out, please, and then you can be on your way." Jake said, his expression completely blank and his tone final. Dirk nodded, taking his command as the dismissal that it was, and went to the desk, slowly signing out his little brother.  
"Goodbye, Jake." Dirk called as he made his way to the door, hesitating for a fraction of a second. Jake could tell that he wanted to say something, or perhaps he was waiting for Jake to say something.  
"Goodbye, Dave. Goodbye... Mr. Strider." Jake said shortly. Dirk looked up, his expression surprised and.... hurt? No Jake must have imagined that last part. Either way, his face was back to blank in a fraction of a second, before Dirk nodded, leaving.  
Jake had never heard that familiar tinkle of the door bell sound so sad.  
It was only after he was sure that the pair had left that he allowed himself to sink into his desk chair and cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello! So, yes, this chapter was short and sad. the thing is, I really want some reader suggestions as to what should happen next but didn't want to go too long without posting a chapter! So, Here it is. And for anyone who says 'Oh no, Jake would never cry like that you are making him so OOC' You should think a bit more about the effects of a broken heart on a person! It hurts! He was betrayed in the worst sense of the word! Cheated on for his own twin brother, even if he doesn't realize that wasn't exactly what happened. Also, If you could follow me, that would be great. you don't have to, of course. Just if you want to. Comment what should happen next!


	5. Party Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Birthday Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter includes a lot of useless details for the sake of not so many questions needing to be asked. You have been warned.

Jake did not know when he finally stopped crying. He didn’t remember cleaning up the playroom of the Daycare. He didn’t remember going into the bathroom and washing his tear stained face so his eyes didn’t look so swollen and his skin wasn’t so red. He wasn’t sure when he finally left, turning off all the lights and locking the door behind him, then making his way to his car, the only one in the parking lot. Jake didn’t remember driving to his apartment and getting the present he had picked out for John and the box of the healthy snacks he had prepared the night before: three dozen Styrofoam plates, each individually saran wrapped to keep the carefully crafted Sesame Street characters made of vegetables intact and fresh. He didn’t remember signing the card he made on the computer and putting it into an envelope, then changing into his cookie monster t shirt and combing his dark, unruly hair into something almost resembling being neat and leaving his apartment. Jake didn’t remember driving to the Egbert house. He didn’t remember getting out of his car and walking to the door. In fact, he was sort of in a hypnotic daze until he had his finger on the doorbell. Yet here he was.

Jake blinked as he finally came out of his trance. Sure enough, he could see in the reflection of the window on the door that he had on his cookie monster shirt and his hair was less messy than usual. He had the present and large box of snacks tucked into one arm, the card taped to the top of the Elmo wrapping paper. And here he stood, frozen with his finger on the doorbell with little to no memory of the last hour. Jake sighed, realizing he looked very silly just standing there like that. “Well… I suppose there is no turning back now…” he said, pressing the button. 

The door opened, revealing a very happy looking little Jade Harley. “Jakey! You’re here!” she said excitedly, pulling him inside. “Early as usual, I see.” said her step mother, standing in the kitchen with a bowl of some sort of batter in one hand and a spoon in the other. Jake forced a smile, hiding his surprise at being the first one here besides Jane and Jade, who were setting up most of the party.   
“I thought Uncle Egbert was baking today?” said Jake, wanting to change the subject before Jane started asking questions he couldn’t answer, like how traffic had been on the way here.   
“Oh, he is.” she said, with an annoyed roll of her eyes. “He covered almost all the bases. A huge birthday cake, cupcakes, muffins, cookies, even a personal cake for John.”   
“So then what are you making?” he asked, chuckling.   
Jane smirked, putting the batter on the counter and grabbing a rolling pin. “Well, what’s a party without a little pie?” she said mischievously, making Jake chuckle. “After all, he is my little brother. Dad can’t possibly expect me to not bake Something for the party.” she said, tucking a strand of short black hair behind her ear. Meanwhile, Jade appeared to be trying to stealthily sneak one of the cookies that looked like Cookie Monster’s face from the counter without being noticed. Jake decided not to rat her out, instead casually standing so that he blocked her from Jane’s view.   
“Anything I can do to help?” he asked.  
“Well, we have about an hour before any guests arrive, and John and Dad aren’t due for another fifteen minutes after that. Why don’t you start decorating the backyard?”   
Jake raised an eyebrow. “Um… Janey, isn’t that the whole reason why you are here? To decorate for the party?”  
Jane rolled her eyes. “Oh, come on, Jake. I knew that you would be here early. You always are! You are better at knowing what kids will like than I am, and you’re creative. Besides, I had more pressing matters to attend to. Like the lack of baking my father expects me to do today.” she said, then turned her full attention to the pie. Jake chuckled, shaking his head. He had no doubt that putting Jane in charge of decorating was part of his grand plot to stop her from baking. The two of them were in some sort of mad competition to see who was the better baker. The same sort of thing happened at every single party they went to, one always trying to outdo the other or prevent the other from baking at all. That was why Jake had opted for a healthy alternative as his food to bring, rather than cookies or something else typical of birthday party treats. Jake peeked over his shoulder, smirking when he saw, in the next room over, a small dark haired girl huddled in the corner, licking bright blue icing off her fingers and lips. The girl looked up at him, eyes widening in fear when she saw she had been caught. Jake only winked, putting his finger in front of his lips as a signal that he wouldn’t tell on her. Jade smiled wide, nodding, then stood up and ran away, probably to find a safer place to rid the evidence of her treachery.

Jake went into the backyard, sighing when he saw that Jane hadn’t done a lick of decorating. “Well, better get started, then.” he said, walking over to the two large boxes of party decorations on the large outdoor table that Mr. Egbert had set out earlier for the food to go on. 

Forty-five minutes later, Jake stood by the back door and surveyed his work. Hanging from the tree in the Egbert’s backyard was a long sign that read “HAPPY BIRTHDAY” in shiny, colorful lettering. Lawn chairs and small tables had been placed strategically around the edge of the lawn for the guest’s comfort, each with a bouquet of balloons on every table. Jake had used a black sharpie to decorate each balloon with a face of a monster on Sesame street: the pink were Prairie Dawn or Abby Cadabby, the red were Elmo or Telly, the orange were either Baby Bear, Ernie, Mr. Snuffleupagus, or Zoe, the yellow Bert or Big Bird, on the green ones were Rosita, the blue ones were either Cookie Monster or Grover, and the purple ones were Count Count. More decorative balloons were tied to the table, the tree, the fence, and a single chair with Jake had covered in blue cloth and ribbon so it looked fancy enough to be John’s birthday thrown. The table was covered in a sesame street tablecloth with Sesame Street plates and napkins on one end beside a box of plastic cutlery and ample room for food. Party hats and noise makers lay at the other end. He had also added some shiny confetti pieces that read “Happy Birthday”. A piñata shaped like a giant cookie hung from the tree, since everyone agreed that smashing a character with a bat was sort of gruesome. There was also a Pin the Tale on the Mr. Snuffleupagus game on the fence. Finally, Jake filled a few balloons with regular air instead of helium, decorated one balloon for each monster, and tossed them around the yard for the kids to play with. “There. That should do it!” he said, smiling and turning around to go inside, almost running into Jane in the process.   
“Oh good! You’re done!” Jane said, rushing over to the table and setting down the pie. Jade came out close behind her, carrying a tray of cookies that Jake was pretty sure at least five were missing from, but Jane didn’t seem to notice.  
“Yes, I just finished. Is there something wrong, Janey?” he asked, tilting his head as he saw that his cousin looked rather stressed. “Um… perhaps.” she admitted, looking embarrassed and ashamed. “You see, along with decorating, I was sort of supposed to make some actual food for the guests at the party to eat, since Dad just made sweets.”   
“Okay…?” Jake prompted, not liking where this was going.  
“…I made a pie.” she said, looking at the ground.   
Jake’s eyes widened. “So, let me get this straight. People are arriving in less than a quarter hour for this party, none of them having eaten and none of them bringing more than party snacks and junk food, and we have nothing real to feed them?” he said, sounding slightly panicked.   
“…I was also supposed to make punch.”  
“Janey!”  
“I know, I know! I messed up! What do we do?” she said, looking panicked. “Dad is going to kill me if this party doesn’t go perfectly!”  
“Alright, alright. Let me think.” he said, thinking fast. He reached into his pocket, pulling out two twenties and a notebook. “Go down to the store and get everything on this list.“ he said, writing down two sandwich rings, a bottle of squirt, a bag of oranges, a pint of orange juice, a bottle of fruit punch, three containers of fried chicken, and a case of Huggies. “Go!” he said, handing her the list. She nodded, running off to her car, little Jade blinking as she watched her, confused. Jake sighed. “Come on, Jade. We have some party food to make.” he said, lifting up the small girl and running to the kitchen. He put her down, swiftly searching through every cupboard for something he could make that didn’t look like it only took ten minutes to prepare. Five minutes later, Jake was a cooking madman. Jade watched in rapture as he cubed countless potatoes and stuck them in a bowl, then shoved the bowl into the microwave. “I can’t belief I am seriously going to nuke the potatoes.” he mumbled to himself in shame. “They are going to loose so many vitamins…” However, he didn’t stop working. While the potatoes flash cooked, Jake was dicing up celery for the potatoes salad and adding that to a bowl. He also found a case of hot dogs in the fridge and began frying those in a pan. “Ah ha!” he said, smiling wide when he found a few boxes of sesame street mac and cheese in the cupboard. However, instead of making it as the instructions said, Jake cooked the pasta and simply threw out the cheese. He dived up some tomatoes and cubed some cheese, then added threw the pasta in one bowl and the cooked potatoes in another and threw both in the freezer to cool as quickly as possible. Jake almost had a heart attack when the doorbell rang, looking at the clock. Sure enough. It was exactly six o’clock, time for the party. “Can you get that, Jade?” said Jake, pulling the now about room temperature pasta and potatoes out of the freezer. Jade nodded, smiling, and ran to the door. “Jane! We’re her! I mean, here!” said a loud, slightly slurred voice from the door.   
Jake smiled as he added the tomatoes, cheese, and some Italian dressing to the pasta salad and the celery, mayonnaise, and mustard to the potato salad. “She’s out getting a few last minute things, Roxy!” Jake called, then plated the finished hot dogs. “Can you help me bring this stuff to the table out back?” he said.   
Sure thing, Jakey!” said Roxy, coming in, followed by her mother and little sister. Roxy was wearing what sort of looked like a Zoe costume, since it was a pink tutu and she had a bow in her blonde hair, but the short pink tutu and wide neck made it look unbelievable raunchy for a sesame street character. “Like what you see Jack? Jake?” she corrected, snickering. Jake rolled his eyes, shoving the plate of hot dogs into her hands. “Less talking, more walking.” he commanded, walking out to the table and setting down the two bowls of pasta. Ms. Lalonde placed a few bottles of Vodka that she had brought with her into the cooler they were using for adult beverages before making her way over to sit on a lawn chair.  
“Oh, Jake, I love it when you take charge.” Roxy said, setting down the plate of hot dogs and hanging onto his arms.   
“I feel that it is necessary to inform you that there are children about.” came a clear, adorably high yet sophisticated voice at around knee level. Jake looked down to see Rose in what looked like it had at one point been an Abby Cadabby costume, but has now been dyed so that the blue parts are black and the pink parts purple. However, her blonde hair was still pulled up in two high pigtails on the top of her head. Rose was every bit the gothic adorable that her sister was the playful raunchy.   
“I apologize, Ms. Rose. Why don’t you go help Jade get into her outfit for the party? She does have trouble with the zipper.” he remarked, chuckling. Rose nodded, walking off to go help her friend, while Jade followed, smiling.   
“…I totally ship them.” said Roxy smirking.   
Jake grimaced. “They’re five, Rox. Now, let’s get the rest of the food out here.”

Together, the two brought out the pastries and cups for the punch, along with a big bowl and ladle for when Jane arrived with the punch ingredients. “I’m back!” Jane said, running into the backyard. “Just in time.” said Jake, as he pointed to a car passing on the street near the back yard which Jake recognized as the Zahhaks, followed closely by the Leijons. Jake quickly poured the squirt, punch, and orange juice into the bowl, stirring it and adding some slices of oranges for decoration. He put the Huggies in the kid’s drink cooler and placed the chicken in a large hot pot to keep them warm before throwing away the package. Meanwhile, Jane plated the sandwich rings on a large platter and Roxy put the bag of chips she brought into a large bowl on the table. Jake added some condiments and buns for the hot dogs and stepped back to survey his work. There were still just as many sweets as real food, and the table still had ample room on it, but Jake figured that when people started arriving than whatever treats they may have brought would help to fill it up. 

Just then, Jade came out, smiling wide, followed closely by Rose. She wore an adorable little cookie monster outfit that was probably intended to be pajamas and was just a tad too big for her, but was just too cute none the less. “I’m all ready to party!” she squealed excitedly.

Within the next fifteen minutes, nearly all the invitees were there. Nepeta was dressed like Zoe, though her costume looked much less revealing and more innocent and cute than Roxy’s and included a pair of cat ears, and Equius wore a simple shirt with Elmo’s face on it. The Leijons had brought cupcakes that were supposed to look like monsters, but ended up looking more like cats, while the Zahhaks brought pretzels. The Maryums arrived next, little Kanaya dressed up as a vampire that Jake assumed were supposed to be Count Count, and bringing cucumber sandwiches and a gallon of home made iced tea, much to Jake’s delight at the healthier foods. Next came the Vantas’s, bearing a very angry looking Karkat in a full out fuzzy Elmo costume, including a hood that looked like Elmo’s head, and fruit salad. Then the Captors and the Ampora’s together, surprisingly enough, Eridan wearing little bear ears, paws, and a tail that Jake assumed was baby bear and Sollux wearing a superhero cape and blue gloves as a sort of Super Grover, both bringing potato chips. The Nitrams arrived soon after, Tavros wearing what looked like a t-shirt and pants that they had glued thousands of yellow feathers to as Big Bird and bringing an assorted cheese tray with home made cheese and deviled eggs, both made from the products from their farm, as well as home made beer. Gamzee came in soon after with his family, face painted to look like cookie monster and dressed in a blue shirt and pants. They brought faygo and, for the adults, green jello shot pie. Everyone’s favorite Lesbian couple arrived next with their little ones dressed up as Bert and Ernie, Terezi being Bert and Vriska being Ernie, and bringing beer for the adults and soda for the kids. The Megidos arrived next with a little Aradia dressed as Rosita and bringing home made sushi, traditional for their family’s culture, and tacos that they bought from taco bell, traditional from Aradia’s character. Finally came the Peixes, though many people seemed to avoid the Peixes mother, bringing an expensive looking tray of meat, cheeses, and crackers that Jake was pretty sure cost more than what he made in a month, wine that Jake was pretty sure cost more than he made in a year, and a sweet little Feferi dressed in yet another Abby Caddaby costume, this one Jake was sure costing more than he made in a lifetime. 

Jake was beginning to wonder if he had simply dreamed of Dirk showing up. “Yes, that must be it.” he said to himself as he organized the presents on the table. “I’ve simply been working myself too hard. Just the stress. Bro came to pick Dave up, just like every other day. Dirk is off helping write some comic of movie script or something or other like that. I went home, took a nap, dreamed that he was there, and the stress of work and the party simply made me believe the dream was real! Oh, what a silly head I’ve been.“ he said, laughing to himself and shaking his head, convinced that he had dreamed the whole thing, now.   
“Uh, Jake? Who are you talking to?” Jane said with a worried expression.  
Jake waved her off. “Oh, just a little chat with myself. Thinking out loud, as it were. Don’t worry, Janey. I’m right as rain.” he said, grinning.  
“Oooookay?” said Jane, still looking a bit worried. “Well, why don’t you come help me get all the children hidden. John and Dad should be arriving soon!”

Mr. Egbert was determined for his son’s party to go off without a hitch, so there was a pretty strict schedule in mind. As soon as John showed up, everyone would jump out and say “Surprise! Happy Birthday John!” in unison. Then, after a brief period of mingling, John would open his presents. Directly after presents was Cake, and then party games. The party was supposed to go until 9 for the kids, which was past most of their bed times but it was a special night and there was a big sleepover planned afterwards. Food would be eaten as people were ready. At 9 o’clock sharp, Mr. Egbert would propose to Mrs. Lalonde, and then Jake would bring all the kids into the basement, which he would set up for the sleepover during the party games, while the adults and teens are welcome to party until midnight. Of course, Jake had opted out of that particular activity, even though he was invited to as soon as the kids were asleep. But partying really wasn’t his thing. He might come up to mingle for a few minutes, but most of his time would be spent watching movies in the basement.

Jake helped Jane get all the children hidden, most of them with their parents or siblings, crouched behind bushes or fences or the tree. Just as Jake was helping Nepeta keep her little cat ear hairclips hidden in the hedge she was crouched in, they heard the gate click open. Jake, startled, turned quickly, fearing that he had ruined the surprise by not being hidden. However, while it was not John and Dad at the gate, the true arrivals were almost more surprising. There was Dave, dressed fairly normal other than a shirt with Elmo’s face on it… And none other than Dirk Strider.  
“I hope we aren’t too late. Sorry, Dave spent way too long in the toy store picking out the perfect present.” he said, grinning.  
“Dirk!” Jane smiled wide, running up to her old friend and hugging him. “You’re just in time. Hurry up and hide!”  
Dirk nodded and, being Dirk, quickly scooped Dave into his arms, flash stepping over to the tree and ninja climbing into the branches.   
“Hurry up and hide, Jake! That’s their car!” said Jane, ducking just inside the back door. Jake blinked, realizing that the car coming up the road was indeed Mr. Egberts, and quickly stood on the other side of the door from Jane. Inside, he was freaking out. It hadn’t been a dream. Dirk was here. Dirk was at the party. What was he supposed to do?

“Surprise! Happy Birthday John!” Everyone jumped out of their hiding places in unison at the sound of the gate opening, including Jake, putting on a grin.   
“John! Where Is your costume? You were supposed to be a sesame street monster!“ said Jane, eyes wide as she examined her little brother’s ghost buster costume.   
M. Egbert sighed. “We went to see a reshowing of Ghostbusters at the theaters for his birthday. Then, when we got to the store to get his costume, he saw this and refused to get anything else. It wasn’t like I could just tell him that the reason we were getting a sesame street costume was that his surprise party theme was sesame street!“   
Everyone seemed to think that John’s choice in costume was rather amusing, and Jake sort of just agreed in general with whatever people were saying. Yes, this was what Jake had to do. He had to simply fake his way through the party. For John. He couldn’t afford for this party to not be perfect just because of his own personal issues. He smiled through small talk with the other party gifts until presents. He handed John each present and gave appropriate yet generic responses to each present. The Striders went first, with a toy turn table set, a hand made birthday card, and ten dollars. A card that said “Bless you on your birthday“, a My First Bible, and ten dollars from the Vantas’s. All of the Pokemon Indigo League series and movies from the Megidos and a card in japanese. A hand made quilt and teddy bear from the Nitrams, plus a little rap Tavros made up for him. Some coloring books, yet another card, and a dollar from the Captors. An art kit and a card with a little cat on it that said “Have a purrfect birthday” from the Leijons, along with a hand drawn picture from Nepeta. New clothes from the Maryums, along with a generic Happy Birthday card and ten dollars. From Serket-Pyrope family, Terezi bought him a box of crayons and Vriska a plastic sword, both bought from the dollar store with the girs own money, along with twenty dollars (receiving a very pleased “Wow! I’m rich!” from John) and no card because Mindfang thinks cards are too sappy. The Zahaaks made John a robotic horse using some spare parts from the robotics lab at the high school that Horuss got and scrap metal from Darkleer’s shop. It didn’t walk, but it did move it’s head, made horse noises, and could “eat” toy carrots (which it later pooped out). The Makarras got John a Jr. Cook Book and, from Gamzee, a nickle covered in something sticky that he pulled out of his pocket. The Amporas actually bought John a little purple and silver beta fish in its own tank, the kind that you just pour water in to clean, already decorated with glow in the dark rocks, fake sea weed, and a little treasure chest that blew bubbles. John named him after Slimer after the ghost in Ghostbusters. Finally, the Peixes. The rich but impersonal family simply got John a birthday card with a hundred dollars in it, much to John’s delight and everyone else’s scorn. However, the money was far from John’s favorite present. Most of the next hour until cake was spent playing with his new toys with his friends; sword fighting with Vriska, coloring with Nepeta, Sollux, and Terezi’s gifts, even flipping through his bible pages and cook book. Tavros seemed most interested in Slimer and the robotic horse, which helped to increase Eridan and Equius’s ego’s, though Gamzee seemed rather upset by the notion. 

Finally, mercifully, it was time for Jake to go set up the basement. He had been having a pretty hard time staying neutral and in control of his emotions with Dirk in such close proximity. He had even stood directly beside him during happy birthday, almost touching him. Jake was glad to be alone as he set out the pillows and blankets. The once empty basement was now a very comfortable family room, with two recliners, a long couch that seated six adults, a plush carpet, a huge television, and a Blu-Ray player and a whole cabinet of movies. Jake went into the kitchen and got out the little disposable sectional bowls Mr. Egbert bought for the kids to use for snack bowls. He filled each one with some popcorn in one section, chips or pretzels in another, and gummy worms in the last one. Finally, he filled no-spill cups with grape, apple, or orange juice depending on what each parent said their children would prefer and wrote the kids names on the cups and bowls before taking them downstairs. 

Jake looked at the clock. It was now only five minutes to nine. He knew he had to return to the back yard for now, no matter how much he simply wanted to curl into a ball and forget everything that was going so wrong in his life right now. He sighed to himself, heading out the back door and into the party once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! SO, the next chapter will be pretty fun. The proposal, some more Jake/Dirk drama. AND!!!!!! KIDDY SHIPS!!!!!!!! That’s right, people. You asked for Karezi? YOU ARE GETTING SOME KAREZI! JohnDave? YOU GOT IT! Davekat? YOU GET THAT TOO! EriSol Comforting? YES YES AND YES! YOU GET A FANSERVICE! YOU GET A FANSERVICE! YOU ALL GET FANSERVICE! If there are any other Fanservice things you want, please tell me! There will also be some teen stuff in the next chapter, so Just ask! No matter what the ship is, even one most people don’t like, I will include at least a little drabble into the story! For example: I like EriJake. I know it isn’t conventional. But I do. And there will be a little Erijake kid crush somewhere in this fan fiction. BECAUSE I CAN!!! BECAUSE I AM THE UTIMATE FANDOM QUEEN! THAT SI MY NAME! IT WHAT I DOOOOO! O_O Thank you!


	6. Too Many Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Children are far too curious

Jake arrived in the backyard and was immediately assaulted by a small army crashing into him at waist and knee level, almost knocking him off his feet entirely, accompanied by a chorus of “Jake!” and “Jake!” and “Mr. Jake!” from almost every child at the party. Plus Roxy, who jumped onto his back. The combined assault knocked Jake onto his back, laughing as he hit the grass. “Well, glad to know I was missed.” he chuckled out as he hugged as many of the kids now piling on top of him as he could.   
“Alright, kiddos, that’s enough.” said Mr. Egbert as he and Jane lifted child after child off of him and helped Jake up.  
“So, anything exciting happen while I was gone?” asked Jake, smiling as he brushed some dirt off his legs.   
“Not much out of the ordinary.” Jane said, watching as Jake brushed some dirt off his butt and blushing softly. “Um… Terezi won the pin the tail on the donkey sort of game by licking the entire chart and placed the tail exactly in the right spot, and Equius hit the pinata so hard that it flew off the rope. We’re lucky the tree was there or who knows how far that thing would have flown. It shattered open and some pieces even flew as far as over the fence and into the road. The kids cheered, though, and everyone got some candy. Aradia even hugged him. Luckily Darkleer thought ahead and brought some extra clothes, because he sweat through his first pair so completely that it looked like he just went swimming.” she said, giggling.   
Jake nodded. “So nothing too out of the ordinary, then. Are all the kids ready to go to the basement?” he asked, and Jane nodded.  
“Yeah, but don’t you want to stick around for a minute, Jake? You haven’t even had any cake, yet!”   
Jake chuckled. “Trust me, Jane, with you as my cousin and Mr. Egbert as my uncle, I have had no shortage of cake in my life. I’ll grab a piece later if I want any, but I’m good for now. Have the kids eaten enough? I have some snacks ready for them, just little bowls of popcorn, candy, and some chips or pretzels, but that’s not very filling or healthy.” he said, glancing at the food table and glad to see that almost all of his little veggie plate were gone and there were even some adults eating them right now.   
“Yep! Mr. Egbert made them all eat something for dinner right after you left before they could have any of the cake.”  
“Alrighty, then.” said Jake.

Jake stuck two fingers in his mouth and whistled, getting everyone’s attention. Jake immediately felt self conscious. He had only really meant to get the children’s attention, but now everyone’s eyes were on him. Including a pair of bright orange ones, hidden behind anime themed shades. “….Hello everyone.” Jake said, realizing that they now expected him to make some sort of mini speech. He heard a few chuckles and answering Hellos from the party goers. He avoided Dirk’s form as much as possible as he glanced around the crowd for Mr. Egbert, hoping he would realize Jake’s predicament and help him. Unfortunately, when he did see Mr. Egbert, the man only nodded encouragingly to him. Oh, right. Mr. Egbert still had his surprise for everyone. He probably thought that Jake was giving him some grand set-up! Oh, what a mess he had made for himself. Well, no going back now. “…I would like to first of all thank you all for coming to my dear little cousin’s party. John is one of the dearest, sweetest little boys I know, and it’s grand to know he has so many great friends.” Jake wasn’t exactly sure where any of the words he was saying were coming from. It was probably just because of his accent, or maybe being so used to addressing people due to the children, or even just that he knew everyone at the party, but he sounded sort of… sophisticated, despite his nervousness. “Actually, the word friends doesn’t even begin to describe the group of people surrounding me now. I know that I don’t just speak for myself when I say that I have found a family in those who surround me today. A very dysfunctional family, mind you.” he added, earning a few chuckles from the crowd. Jake smiled, his confidence rising. “I’m serious. I don’t think that there is a single truly normal person in this entire lot. But I guess that is why we all get along together so greatly. We’re there for each other, and every little oddity, every little quirk, it only brings us closer together. Where else would we be able to find a little blind girl who can win a game of pin the tail on the donkey with her tongue, or a little boy in a wheelchair who can practically talk to animals, or an elementary student who could beat any one of us in an arm wrestling match. Not without breaking a sweat, mind you.” he said, each comment earning a proud smile and bashful blush from the children. “We truly are all a wonderful, crazy family, and when we are all together like this, it shows. However, while tonight is about John Egbert one hundred percent, there is something else that needs celebrating. A bond that, while completely made and seemingly unbreakable, shall tonight be solidified. If you would all please give my Uncle, Mr. Egbert, your attention.”   
“Thank you, Jake.” said Mr. Egbert, looking near close to tears from the heart warming speech. “Well, I’m afraid what I have to say won’t be nearly as eloquent as Jake’s, but I hope it still holds the same amount of meaning.” he said, smiling, earning a few more chuckles from the crowd. He then turned to Mrs. Lalonde, who was standing beside him. “As Jake said, everyone here is a family to me in every sense of the word. However, there is still someone, or rather, three someone’s, who I wish to make a part of… well, I suppose I could call it my legal family.” Mr. Egbert dropped down to one knee, earning a collective gasp and a few “Aw”s from the crowd. “Mrs. Lalonde…. I’m not one to beat around the bush, so, without further ado…. Will you marry me?” he said, earning a few gasps and squeals, particularly from the woman.  
Mrs. Lalonde was silent for a moment, looking at Mr. Egbert with a shocked expression. Then, a slow smile crept onto her face. Tears welled in her eyes.   
“….No.” she said.   
Wait, what?  
Everyone froze, completely shocked. “Just kidding. Yes, of course I will, you fool!” she said, flinging herself into Mr. Egbert’s arms and hugging him tightly. “I’m now the fiancé and the step mother of two of the greatest pranksters I know. Do you really think I could fit into that rule without at least playing a little prank?” she said with a wink, earning a few laughs from the crowd. Jake let out a breath he didn’t even realize he had been holding, chuckling softly. Mr. Egbert looked ecstatic, letting out a loud howl of laughter, then pulled the soon to be Mrs. Lalonde close, kissing her full on the lips, earning a few more “aw”s, some whistles, and a few “ew”s from the children.   
“Alright, children. Everyone follow me to the basement!” Jake said, marching off with the children following not far behind him.

“Alright! Let’s see…” Jake had a large tray in his hands, passing out all of the snack bowls and juices for the children, each curled up beneath their blankets on the chairs or couch and ready to watch the movie John had picked (Which, much to Jake’s surprise, was National Treasure). “Apple juice and chips for Dave, Apple juice and pretzels for Terezi, Orange juice and chips, orange juice and chips, apple juice and chips, orange juice and pretzels….” this went on for a few minutes as he passed out each snack, “And finally, Grape juice and pretzels for Eridan.” Jake said, handing out the final snack.   
“Ew! Grape juice is gross!” said Vriska loudly, causing several children to laugh and Eridan to blush considerably, pouting. Jake frowned. For some reason, today especially and one little girl in particular, all the children had been especially mean to little Eridan. Sure, he could be rather haughty and immature at times, even rude and almost as much of a little bully as everyone else was to him, but he was a kid and, while this didn’t make it right, it seemed that the other children usually instigated the bullying.   
“Alright, everyone, that’s enough.” said Jake, raising his hand in a signal of silence. “There is no reason to be rude to people just because they don’t share the same likes and dislikes as you. Besides, I happen to like Grape juice.” said Jake, smiling a bit at Eridan. However, Eridan simply continued to look sulky.   
“That’s because your old. Old people like Grape juice.” said Dave, smirking, earning another round of laughter from the other children and causing Eridan to tuck the blankets over his head.   
“I am not old! I’m not even half way through my twenties!” said Jake incredulously.  
“Old!” said Terezi, standing and jumping up and down on the couch. “Jakey’s gonna be a lonely old cat lady!” Jake rolled his eyes, grabbing her around the waist and laying her back down as the children giggled.  
“Jake! When you become an old cat lady, can I come see your cats?” said Nepeta, earning more laughter.  
Jake rolled his eyes. “Oh, stop it. I am not going to be a lonely old cat lady. First of all, I am not even a woman, so that’s impossible.”  
“Gender and parts don’t relate to each other anymore, Mr. Jake.” said Rose.  
Jake blinked, shaking his head. “Rose. Please don’t start that debate right now. I am very well aware of that fact. However, mind and body, I am still not a woman. I am a boy. End of discussion. And secondly, who says I’ll end up lonely? I’m not old! I still have time to find the right person!”  
“My mommy said that you’re too married to the daycare to find anyone.” said Feferi innocently.  
Jake sighed. “Well, that is partially true, I suppose. But I don’t just work so much for the daycare.” Jake said, sitting down beside her and tucking the blankets around the small girl.   
“Why do you work so much, Mr. Jake.” said Tavros, obviously having a hard time getting comfortable on his chair because of being unable to move his legs.   
Jake smiled, going over and adjusting him properly, an Tavros smiled in thanks. “Because I care too much for all of you.” he answered simply.   
“Are you gonna be a daddy someday Uncle Jakey?” asked Jade.  
Jake sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “That’s… complicated.”  
“I think you should marry my mama.” said Jade, smiling wider.   
Jake chuckled. “She’s like a sister to me!” he retorted.  
“So then you’re already like family. Like Mr. Egbert and Mrs. Lalonde.” she said.  
Rose piped in, “Roxy says that Mr. Jake can’t “get back into the dating scene” because he’s still in love with Mr. Dirk.” This earned a few gasps and “oooh!”s from the children. Dave’s eyes widened, looking honestly shocked.   
“Now what gave you an idea like that?” Jake said, blushing lightly.  
“Roxy said you two were sweethearts when you were younger. She said you two were gonna get married.” Rose said, smiling. This earned some gaps and laughs from the children.  
“Is it true, Jake?” said Vriska excitedly.  
“My moms always said you seemed like a total twink.” Terezi piped in.  
Jake’s eyes went wide, almost choking on his own air. “What? Do you even know what that word means?”  
“Nope!” Terezi said, smiling. “But I know it has something to do with a guy liking a guy and something else that mommy said I’m not ready to know yet.”  
Jake blushed brightly, rubbing his temples. This conversation was giving him a headache.  
“Look, he’s blushing!” said Aradia, giggling.  
“Does that mean it is true, Mr. Jake?” asked Kanaya.  
Jake sighed. “… Yes, Dirk and I were… sweethearts.” he answered finally, tucking Kanaya in. “But that was a long time ago. Things change.”  
“What happened, Jake?” asked Sollux, tilting his head curiously.   
Jake smiled a bit. “Well, sometimes when people get older, they just change. They do things you don’t think they would have done because they get older and… you can’t stop it. It just happens.”  
“Well I’m never going to change.” said Eridan.  
“Nobody asked you, Eridan!” said Vriska, earning more laughter and Eridan to hide under the blankets again.  
“Alright, now, that’s enough. Let’s all watch the movie and go to sleep.” Jake said, pressing play. Everyone fell silent and watched the movie. However, more than one mind was focused more on their own thoughts than whatever Nicholas Cage was doing on the screen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty! So I am very well aware that I promised more shippiness to all of you. The thing is, I needed a good set up before I really went into the cute ship scenarios. So! For the next couple chapters, there will be shippiness. Each chapter will be focused on a different ship in this fan fiction, with a few mentions of ships thrown in. Here is a mini list of some that will definitely be included, on no particular order. Terezi x Karkat, Sollux x Eridan, Something with Vriska and John and Terezi, Tavros x Gamzee, Mom x Dad, Mind fang x Redglare, Kankri x Cronus x Mituna, Roxy x Jane x Jake, and of course, Jake x Dirk. If there is anyone else you would like shipped, please ask. Note: Not everyone gets their own chapter. Some people are only mentioned or featured in a sort of in-chapter drabble. The ones who definitely get featured as a main segment in a chapter are Sollux x Eridan, Kankri x Cronus x Mituna, Roxy x Jane x Jake, and… maybe the Jake x Dirk will be a main thing? By main, I mean more than a quarter of the chapter is devoted to them. Questions, comments, concerns, requests? Just ask! Thank you!


	7. The After Party: Part 1- Isn't it a Pity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part one of the part

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, there! So, this chapter is being broken up into various parts, this being part one. Read on!

By the time the movie ended, it appeared that every child in the room was fast asleep. Jake sighed in relief, gently lifting Nepeta, who had come over to cuddle him in the middle of the movie and had fallen asleep in his lap, and putting her on her previous sleeping spot, covering her up with the blanket and quietly making his way out of the room.

However, little did Jake know that there was indeed one child who had not fallen asleep during the quintessence of acting superiority performed by Nicholas Cage. Huddled beneath his plush purple blanket, Eridan Ampora fought back the tears that had been slowly gathering all night. Today more than ever, Eridan realized just how little his peers thought of him. Meaning how little in any good way, of course. They thought about him often enough, it seemed, considering they went out of their way to make fun of him and tease him on a daily basis. 

Why did everyone have to be so cruel? Sure, Eridan could be selfish and immature and rude, but he was a kid! Couldn’t they all be? Vriska constantly took other kids things for fun, and no one teased her. John laughed too loudy and wore glasses just as dorky as Eridan’s, but no one called him names. No one ridiculed Dave when he was narcissistic, or Sollux for his speech impediment. So why did they always do it to Eridan?

Tears slowly fell down the small boy’s face as he cried, biting his lip hard enough to draw blood as he fought to keep quiet. The last thing he needed right now was someone waking up and hearing him. Eridan slowly untangled himself from his blankets, standing and shuffling to the bathroom, covering his mouth as he hiccupped and trying to keep his sobs silent. Finally, he reached the restroom, closing the door behind him, and walked to the far end of the room, sitting down with his back against the bathtub. Finally alone, Eridan let the tears flow, sobbing softly into his arms as he rested them atop his knees, curled against his chest. He sniffled as his nose began to run profusely, making it harder to breath and causing him to hyperventilate. Eridan did his best to stay semi-quiet, not wanting to wake anyone up with his self-pitying sobs.

Suddenly, Eridan froze as a knock sounded against the door. Eridan glanced at the shadow peaking beneath the locked barrier. It was small enough that he knew it was a child, meaning he had less of a chance of needing to explain his situation, but he still didn’t feel like having anyone see him like this. “I’m in here.” He called, hoping his voice didn’t sound as pathetic as it did to his own ears.  
An all too familiar voice on the other side sighed. “Ed, let me in.” that unmistakable boy lisped.  
Eridan slowly made his way to the door, opening it and glaring at the boy on the other side.

Meanwhile, Sollux looked at Eridan evenly from the other side, his expression blank and unreadable.  
His nose was red and raw underneath from it running and Eridan’s constant wiping it while he sobbed. In fact, a lot of his face was pretty red. His eyes were red and puffy, as were his cheeks, and his nose in general was red too, the entire ensemble bringing out the purplish streak in his hair even more than usual. Sollux sighed. To an adult, Eridan would look helpless and adorable and impossibly sad. However, to Sollux, a kid his own age, he simply looked pathetic and a mess. “What do you want?” Eridan asked crossly, his stutter accentuated by his shaky voice, hoarse from crying.   
Sollux said nothing as he walked past Eridan and went over to the roll of toilet paper, ripping off a large wad and returning to Eridan. “Blow.” he said simply, shoving a few squares beneath the other boy’s nose. For a moment, Eridan wanted to protest, but when he looked at Sollux’s unamused and so-done-with-your-crap look, he really had no choice but to obey; any talking would have brought forth another bought of tears. Sollux threw away the snot covered rags and grabbed a few clean pieces, moving the step stole near the sink so that he could turn on the tap and wet them slightly, then getting down and pushing Eridan to sit on it a bit forcibly before proceeding to clean the other boy’s face until it wasn’t so sticky and sore looking. He threw away those tissues as well, the grabbed a Dixie cup from the little dispenser Mr. Egbert kept beside the sink and filled it with cold water, giving it to Eridan.   
Eridan sipped the water, his wet but less melancholy looking face wearing a surprised expression. He wasn’t exactly sure why Sollux was doing this. He looked so irritated with the entire process that Eridan wondered why he even bothered. Eridan finished the drink, throwing his little paper cup away and looking at Sollux. He thought about saying thank you, but decided against it for the soul fact that he still didn’t really like Sollux. The diachronic boy had always been one of Eridan’s most persistent tormenters for whatever reason, and a few minutes of reluctant kindness weren’t going to change that. Instead, he silently dried his face on his pajama sleeves before looking at the other boy again. “Why did you do that?” he asked, his voice almost back to normal now.  
Sollux looked at Eridan for a moment, as if debating what he should answer, before finally replying, “Because some people are light sleepers and you were making far too much noise.”  
Eridan frowned, severely disappointed by this response.  
“….What were you crying about, anyway?” Sollux finally asked, sitting on the step stole beside Eridan.   
Eridan shrugged, moving over a bit so they each had enough room. “Just some stuff.” he said.  
Sollux glared at him. “Don’t get all cryptic not, ED. I got up at this ungodly hour so I could calm your butt down. I at least deserve to know what you were crying about.”  
Eridan flinched a bit, then looked away. “…Because nobody likes me.” he finally said.  
Sollux rolled his eyes. “Oh, what a load of self pitying poopy.”  
“It’s true!” Eridan defended, standing u, tears in his eyes once more. “Everyone makes fun of me! Vris smeared cake in my hair and everyone laughs at me and Dave made fun of me for the juice and no one wants me on their teams for games or plays with me besides Fef and Kan, and that’s only because Fef and Kan are friends and Fef’s mom makes her play with me! My brother doesn’t like me and Vris doesn’t like me and Fef doesn’t like me and Dave doesn’t like me and nobody at all likes me and-”  
“I like you!” Sollux finally said over Eridan’s words.   
Eridan froze, tears in his eyes, and looked at Sollux. “…R-Really?”  
Sollux blinked, then sighed. “No. I was just trying to get you to shut up.” he admitted. “But I mean, I don’t hate you. You’re just really annoying and self centered. Which makes you more annoying. Even right now! It’s really hard to like someone who only cares about… well, being liked! It makes you seem boring and pompous. Could you really like someone like that?”  
Eridan sniffed, sitting on the step stole again. “No…” he said.  
Sollux felt a bit bad and gently patted Eridan’s back. “But look on the bright side. You have your dad and brother. They’re family, so they have to like you.”  
Eridan’s eyes filled with tears even more. “B-But…” he began, holding in sobs. “That’s not true either… my mama didn’t want me…” he closed his eyes as the water fell down in an even stream, and Sollux froze, suddenly feeling bad.  
“ED… I’m sorry. I didn’t know…”  
Eridan wiped his face. “No one did… it doesn’t matter anyway. I don’t need your p-pity!” he said as Sollux tried to place a gentle hand on the sobbing boy’s arm.  
Sollux glares up at him. “It isn’t pity, you jerk! It’s sympathy.”  
Eridan frowns, blinking, confused, not knowing what the rather big word means.  
Sollux sighs. “It means that I know what you are going through and feel your sadness… my mom died when I was little. So… I don’t know what it is like to feel unwanted by someone you feel so trusting and dependent on. But… I do know what it is like to want a mother. To look at other people and feel so envious of their family and to cry yourself to sleep at night because you feel so alone. My daddy is great, but… it’s not the same.”  
Eridan nodded, feeling comforted from Sollux’s words. “It’s lonely… you would do anything to have someone to hold close…”  
Sollux nodded in agreement. “Someone to care…”  
“Someone to love you.” They both said in unison, eyes widening in surprise. Eridan and SOllux looked at each other for a moment, then away, both blushing lightly. “….Anyways, come on. We should get to bed. Your whining is going to wake the whole house.” Sollux said, standing. Eridan rolled his eyes. “Yeah right. Only if your stupid voice doesn’t wake them first.”

They exited the bathroom, walking back into the family room. They frowned a bit, noticing that a few people seemed to be missing, and that Karkat and Terezi were now together, fast asleep on one of the chairs. Eridan sighed, laying in his original spot on the ground, and Sollux lay don in his spot beside him.  
“…..Goodnight, Sol.” Eridan said softly, facing towards Sollux, whose back was to him. Sollux hummed in response, but said nothing. Eridan bit his lip, looking at Sollux’s back. The lingering sadness of the previous moments still stuck with him.   
‘Maybe I can just…’ Eridan thought to himself, scooting a bit closer. Sollux didn’t stir. Eridan moved even closer, and the smaller boy still didn’t seem to notice. Eridan reached a hand out, then froze. He so wanted to touch the other. To touch anyone. To feel close to someone else, to let the sound of their heartbeat and the feel of their warmth drive the loneliness away.   
Suddenly, just when Eridan was sure Sollux was asleep, he sighed, causing Eridan to jump in surprise. Solux turned over, taking his own and Eridan’s glasses and setting them on the coffee table. “You’re such a dork.” He mumbled, then laid back down and cuddled close to Eridan. Eridan blinked in surprise, but slowly wrapped his arms around Sollux, nuzzling into his hair. Without his glasses, he couldn’t see the way Sollux’s face flushed light pink, or the strangely colored eyes that Sollux always hid, or the fact that those same eyes were filled with small tears as he cuddled into Eridan, needing the contact just as much.  
Slowly, the two fell into a deep sleep. And, for once, both were sure that they wouldn’t wake up in the middle of the night with nightmares of pain and loneliness. Or, at least if they did

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mwahahahaha. More ships to come, lovelies! This was a very early request, so I wanted to start with this.


	8. The After Party: Part 2- A Work of Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The much awaited update, featuring Karkitty and TZ (with just a hint of JohnKat, Ericat, Katnep, JadeKat, SolKat, and Davecat)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait peeps

Karkat did not know what time it was. Frankly, he didn't care. All that mattered was that he was awake. Again. Of course, he usually was awake constantly throughout the night, and the various goings on in the room right now weren't exactly helping. Nepeta kept making weird little noises. John kept rustling around strangely. Eridan was probably crying, trying to keep quiet; Karkat probably wouldn't even hear him if it wasn't for being right beside him. When Eridan left, going to the bathroom, Karkat sighed in relief, hoping he would now finally be able to get some rest. After all, he may be used to this constant insomnia, but he was still just a kid. He needed sleep. It was one of the reasons that he was so grumpy all the time. However, when Sollux got up as well, most likely to go talk to Eridan, Karkat huffed, irritated. He would never get any sleep with those two making all that noise. Karkat stood, gathering his pillow and blanket, and left the room.

Karkat wandered aimlessly throughout the basement, looking for somewhere quiet and vaguely comfortable to sleep in. The laundry room had a concrete floor, so not there. Most of the closets were too crowded with towels or spare blankets. Finally, Karkat found a basket of clean clothes off to one side at the bottom of the steps. After a moment's hesitation, he shrugged, climbing into the basket. 

It really was not at all that bad. Karkat was really small, so he fit in the basket comfortably, and all the clothes made for a pretty soft mattress. Plus, it smelled really good. Karkat examined the clothes he was laying on a bit more closely as he curled in his makeshift bed. It looked to mostly be different knitted attire. Sweaters, blankets, socks, all knitted or crocheted, all made of the same soft yarn. Karkat guessed that these were probably getting washed so that Mr. Egbert could store them I the closet till next winter. However, a soft flush appeared on the small boy's face as he examined the fabric more closely.

Every article of clothing in the basket was in a shade of blue, green, or white, and all about the perfect size for one individual in particular; John Egbert. Karkat glanced around for a moment, peering through the darkness to make sure he was alone, before picking up a sweater that Karkat recognized as the one that John wore to the Lil' Ol' Schoolhouse Christmas party last year and brought the fabric to his face, smelling the soft fabric. 

A small whimper escaped Karkat as the scent brought a million thoughts and emotions to his mind. The fabric smelled like John, or like part of his scent at east. It smelled like his detergent and a hint of the constant sweet smell of baked goods that could never be washed out of ay of the Egberts' clothing because of the constant exposure to the scent. Of course, the shirt lacked the scent of John's shampoo. It didn't include the smell of grass that clung to the boy after he played outside. Gone was that strange combination of soap and sweat and something strangely sweet and childish, a smell that John seemed to just produce naturally that Karkat couldn't really comprehend. Karkat didn't understand why the smell made him feel so strangely. It made him happy, it made him want to hug the shirt closer and wrap himself in the basket of fabric like he wished John would wrap his arms around him. And yet if John ever did, he would just push him away. Karkat would say he didn't like hugs and would feel a strange sort of fear. John was just so good. So pure. So sweet. His father was always proud of him and he made everyone happy with those wide, blue eyes and buck toothed smile. Karkat, meanwhile, was a disappointment to his entire family. He just couldn't get into all the religious stuff that his brother and his father did. He asked questions that he wasn't allowed to ask and thought things that he wasn't allowed to think. Like, if the Devil is evil, why does he punish people who are bad? If god is supposed to forgive everyone, why didn't he ever forgive the devil? If he loves everyone, why does he let so many bad things happen? 

That was one of the reasons he got along so well with Dave. Dave understood him in some ways. HIs older brother put a lot of pressure on him, and he knew what it was like to loose his parents. Karkat knew that Bro trained Dave in martial arts so that he would be able to protect himself, so that he wouldn't die too. Bro didn't want to end up alone, but he forgot to tell Dave how much he really means to him. The biggest difference between Dave and Karkat, however, was that Karkat stopped caring eventually. It seemed to be an occupational hazard of being Karkat Vantas to be the family disappointment. Dave just wouldn't stop. He had to be cool, wear the shades, be the best at everything. He had to be Dave Strider.

And then there was Nepeta. She tried so hard. It was almost touching, really. She kept chasing after him, telling him she loved him. But that was just it; she didn't. Not really. Se couldn't. Nepeta was just as sweet and innocent as John. The only reason she liked Karkat was because she saw him as some sort of challenge. And maybe because, for some unfathomable reason, she found him cute. Which Karkat didn't get. He turned over, catching sight of his reflection in the glass panels of the door to the family room. His messy hair, the dark circles underneath his demonically colored eyes, his ghostly pale skin, his weirdly sharp teeth, his thin as a skeleton body. That's what happens when you feel too jittery all the time to sit and eat a balanced diet, and then spend your nights awake, burning more calories than those who sleep. Maybe it was because he was small. Everyone seemed to like small things. Nepeta didn't realize what a pathetic, useless, selfish person Karkat truly was. 

The only person who was more pathetic and selfish was Eridan, and he sort of had a reason to be. Seriously, when he wasn't too busy being irritated by him, Karkat felt rather bad for Eridan. He was one of the only children at the daycare with both parents alive, and he couldn't even appreciate it. Everyone had seen the scars on the poor kid's neck, even if he did try to hide them with a scarf.

"What ya doin, Karkat?"   
Karkat squealed, jumping in surprise so dramatically that the basket tipped over, spilling Karkat and the clean clothes onto the floor. Karkat laid on the ground for a moment, eyes tight shut over the pain in his head. "Ouch..."  
Karkat opened his eyes to see none other than Terezi Pyrope standing above him with an idiotic smirk on her face. He sat up, rubbing the sore spot on his head and willing the tears in his eyes not to fall. "Aw, did the wittle baby get a booboo?" Terezi said, then cackled.  
Karkat growled. "What are you doing, Terezi? Shouldn't you be asleep?" he said, irritated.  
Terezi shrugged. "Wanted to see where you went." she replied.  
Karkat sighed, rolling his eyes, and put the clothes back into the basket, then climbing in himself. "To find somewhere away from all you idios to seep." he said, then curled under a blanket and closed his eyes tightly.  
"....Okay!" she said. For a blissful moment, Karkat actually thought that she was going to leave.... until he felt someone try and squeeze into the basket beside him.  
"What the heck ae you doing?" he said.  
"Sleeping with you!" she replied, as if that was obvious. "I'm tired too, Karkles."  
"Terezi, no! There's no room!" he said, and then the basket tipped over once more. Somehow, by the will of whatever asshole god was watching over this poor boy, Karkat managed to hit the exact same spot on his head. He hissed in pain, tears springing to his eyes again and this time spilling over. Terezi landed on top of him, giggling madly.  
"Terezi, you jerk! Get off of me!" he said, pushing her off roughly and sitting up, whimpering in the pain of his head and wiping his eyes.  
Terezi frowned, stopping her giggling, and looked at Karkat. At least, she would have if she weren't blid. "Hey... are you crying?" she said, tilting her head.  
"No dip, Sherlock! That hurt like heck!" he said, rubbing his head and trying to look menacing. However, even a blind girl can see that there was no way a tiny, insomniac, malnourished, injured elementary scholar could look menacing.   
"....Hey, don't cry." she said, moving to hug him, only to be pushed away. Karkat curled into fetal position, clearly not wanting to be bothered. After a short pause, Terezi cleaned up the fallen clothes and then walked aaway.. Karkat sniffed, feeling pathetic and ashamed. 

Karkat actually almost fell asleep like that, curled up and crying, until he heard the quiet shuffling of someone approaching behind him.  
"I thought I told you to go away." he snapped angrily.  
"No you didn't. I went away on my own." Terezi replied. Karkat felt something light set upon his head. He sighed, ripping it off and looking at it, ready to destroy whatever it was... until he looked at it.

It wasn't anything that should have made him as happy as it was. Just a picture drawn by a blind elementary student. Even though not al the lines matched up the way they should perfectly, Karkat could tell what it was. It was a picture of a crying Karkat being kissed on the head by Terezi... dressed in a nurse outfit that was not at all appropriate for someone her age. Above the picture were the words "im sory", misspelled and in the sloppiest hand writing that Karkat had ever seen, and yet it meant the world to him for some reason. Karkat sighed, standing up, and offered his hand to the girl. "Come on, Terezi. I'll help you find the family room again."  
"What? But, Karkat, I can-"  
"Do you really expect me to let a blinded girl go across the basement all alone?" he said, knowing damn well that Terezi could "see" better than anyone else he had ever met. However, finally getting what he was doing, Terezi smiled, taking his hand, and walked to the living room with him. When they reached the room, Karkat moved over to where Terezi had been sleeping on the couch, laying down and pulling her with him. Terezi blushed lightly. "Karkat, I can sleep on my own... I don' need to see while I sleep..."  
"Hush. What if I need to lead you to the bathroom or something, or what if some emergency happens and we need to leave quickly? Are you really willing to lick the walls of this basement till you find where you are going? DO you want to get Ebola?"  
"Okay, Okay, I get the point." she said, rolling her eyes, and relaxed in Karkat's arms. She sighed in contentment, feeling oddly warm and safe, and for the first time in her life, Terezi actually wished that she could see, just so that she could see how handsome Karkat must look, laying so close and protectively to her now. Instead, she stuck her tongue out, licking his chin, then his nose, then his chees. She smiled, now having at least a little bit of an idea of what the boy looked like. "Goodnight, Karkat. she said, closing her eyes.  
Karkat sighed, wiping the spit off his face with Terezi's blanket, before closing his eyes as well. 'Night, Terezi..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, sorry for the long wait. Summer is coming up soo, though, and I plan on doing a chapter a week for all of my stories during that time since I have no life or friends :)  
> Also, it is REALLY fun making Karkat not-exactly-swear-but-till sort of XD


	9. The After Party: Part 3- Fortunately...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So far, here is what you still have to look forward to as far as after party chapters. (In no particular order)  
> John x .... Either Dave, Vriska, or Nepeta. I need some votes there, people. Tell me what ya want. Remember, all ships get featured eventually.  
> Kankri x Cronus x Mituna  
> Dirk x Jake (duh)  
> Equius x Nepeta OR Equius x Aradia  
> Roxy x Jane x Jake  
> Again, taking requests. All requested ships get featured at lest once.

"Tavbro..." Tavros squirmed a bit in his sleep, but did not wake, wanting to remain in the sweet embrace of slumber. "Tavbro..." something poked his cheek, and the small paraplegic swatted it away, frowning. "Tavbro!" Tavros squeaked as he was pushed off his chair and onto the floor, effectively waking him from his slumber. Tears sprung to his little eyes as he struggled to turn himself over without the help of his useless legs to look at whoever had done that to him. Luckily he hadn't seemed to wake anyone up. There, just inches from his own face, was Gamzee, his hair even more wild than usual due to whatever amount of sleep the boy had gotten. "Oh good! You're awake."  
Tavro frowned angrily at him, rubbing the tears from his eyes and his sore side and arm where he had hit the ground. "Gamzee. That hurt." he said softly, pouting as he tried to sit up.  
Gamzee shrugged, still smiling stupidly at him.  
Tavros sighed. 'What do you need, anyway?" he asked, frowning still.  
"I'm hungry." the dark haired boy replied simply.  
"So?" Tavros said incredulously.  
"So. I want food. Come with me."  
Tavros stared blankly at his best friend, his irritation increasing. He reached up and grabbed the blanket off of the chair, wrapping it around himself and laying on the floor. "Good night." Silence followed, and for a moment Tavros thought that he might actually be able to get some sleep. That is, until he felt himself being lifted as if he weighed nothing and swung onto something thin and solid. The small boy squeaked, wrapping his arms around the thing so he wouldn't fall. "W-What are you doing?" Tavros whisper yelled.  
Gamzee smirked back at him and Tavros realized that the solid thing was Gamzee, who had swung him onto his back. Though he couldn't feel it very well, having very little feeling in his legs, Tavros waspretty sure that Gamzee was holding them around his waist, making sure he wouldn't fall. "Going to get some grub, bro." he said, then began walking steadily, as if he didn't have a small boy just about his own age on his back. Tavros sighed, thinking this entire situation ridiculous too tired to argue. He laid his head on Gamzee's shoulder, sighing contently at the pleasant smell of shampoo in the other boy's surprisingly soft, messy hair. 

Meanwhile, Gamzee walked upstairs, looking for his brother. However, Damara found him first, looking down at the two children with interest. She smirked. "Anata jishin no amai chīsana o shiri o te ni iremashita, Gam? (1)" she said, making Gamzee smile.  
Though he didn't know what she said, he knew by the smirk on her face that it was probably something dirty. He liked Damara. She was nice, and said things that she wasn't supposed to without getting in trouble. "Damara, I'm hungry. Can you make me some food?" he said to the Japanese girl.  
Damara nodded. "Mochiron! Watashi ga modotte kuru made anata no chīsana omocha ni wa nanimoshinaide kudasai. O miru no ga suki." (2)  
Damara went outside and Gamzee shifted Tavros onto a chair, then sat beside him. The boy slowly blinked awake, yawning, and Gamzee smiled at him. "Oh yeah!" he gasped, as if forgetting something, then ran to the door, yelling outside in a way that made everyone in the entire backyard look his way and fall silent. "Damara! Get Tavros a sandwich or something simple like that! He's not used to weird foods and I don't want him getting an upset stomach!" he said, then closed the door and sat beside him again, seemingly oblivious to the laughter now filling the backyard area. Tavros blushed brightly, putting his face in his arms to hide it, while Gamzee smiled obliviously.  
A minute later, Damara came back with a plate of sushi and that green jello pie for Gamzee and a piece of sandwich for Tavros. The girl left, smirking back at them over her shoulder as if knowing some strange secret about them. Tavros sighed, eating his sandwich quietly while Gamzee at happily, singing his legs beneath the table. ".... why did you do that?" Tavros asked, blushing still, though not as brightly as before.  
Gamzee looked at him, tilting his head. "Do what?"  
"Tell everyone about my sensitive stomach!" Tavros said, frowning at his best friend.  
After a moment, Gamzee smiled. "Oh! Because I don't want you to get a tummy ache. I need to keep your tummy healthy!" he said, then went back to eating.  
Tavros frowned. The reasoning seemed legitimate, but the phrasing was a little off. "....Why?" He said, confused.  
Gamzee smiled wider, having just finished his food. "Because its my job, silly! You need to stay healthy so you can learn to walk!" Tavros blushed lightly, smiling a bit. Gamzee really was sweet. "And then when we get married you can walk down the aisle to me in a pretty white dress!"  
Wait. What? "Huh?" Tavros's face went bright red. "B-But... I can't marry you!"  
Gamzee frowned a bit, looking genuinely disappointed. "Why not?"  
"Because... we're both boys! Boys can't get married... can they?"  
Gamzee frowned, thinking for a moment, then nodded. "Yeah. I saw guys get married before on the T.V." he said, smiling again.  
"Oh.." Tavros nodded. If it was on the T.v. it had to be true. Still, he sighed, irritated a bit. "But you didn't even ask me!" he said, frowning again.  
Gamzee blinked, thinking for a moment. "Oh. You're right.... Be right back!" he said, standing up and running off somewhere. Tavros blinked, sighing. He was stuck here until someone helped move him, after all. A minute later, Gamzee came back, smiling wide, something hidden behind his back. He ran towards Tavros's chair... and fell flat on his face.  
"Gamzee!" Tavros said, worried.  
"Im a'righ'!" he mumbled into the floor, not getting up but lifting his face to look at Tavros, smiling wide despite the blood poring from his little nose. Tavros winced. That was definitely broken. However, he didn't have time to comment as Gamzee pulled the thing from behind his back, offering it to Tavros while still on the ground. It was a ring pop. "Will you marry me, Tavros?" he said, smiling wide.  
Tavros blinked, then blushed brightly, before sighing. "........Yeah. Okay." he said, smiling. "But I'm not wearing a dress!" he added quickly. "I'll wear a white suit." he said, and Gamzee thought for a moment, then nodded and stood, taking Tavros's hand and slipping the ring onto his finger. Tavros smiled a bit... then took a testing lick of the candy. Watermelon. Yummy.  
"Ah! Don't eat t too fast! I gotta take care of your tummy." Gamzee said, frowning in genuine worry.  
Tavros frowned. "Why are you so worried about my tummy, Gamzee?"  
"Because someday your tummy is gonna haves babies for us!" the other said, as if that was obvious.  
Tavros blushed brightly, looking down and lifting his shirt, staring down at his soft but flat tummy and tilting his head. "There's gonne be babies in there?" he said, confused and awed by the thought.  
Gamzee nodded. "Yep! We gonna get married and have sex and then there will be babies." he said certainly.  
Tavros looked at Gamzee, letting his shirt fall back into place and tilted his head. "What's sex?"  
"I don't know. I asked my dad where babies came from and he said 'Gamzee, some day you are gonna fall in love and get married and have sex and that is how babies are made.'"  
Tavros nodded, thinking that sounded perfectly logical. 

Just then, Damara came back, saying nothing as she set two fortune cookies on the table before walking away. Gamzee and Tavros smiled. "Fortune cookies!" they said in excited unison as they broke the sweet and ate it quickly before even reading them.  
"What does mine say?" Gamzee asked, not being able to read very well, and handed it to Tavros. Tavros read it slowly in a clear voice, just like his mama taught him. "Tell...someone... sp-...sp-...special! You....c-carrrr Oh! Care about them! Tell someone special you care about them!" he said, smileing proudly.  
Gamzee smiled too. "Oh! I already did!" he said, then thought for a minute. 'Oh! Wait, no I didn't. Hehe, I forgot." he said, then leaned in, kissing Tavros's lips quickly. Tavros blushed brightly, having not expected that and feeling extrememly confused at the weird feeling in his tummy, like a bunch of butterflies were flying around in it. What was it that he was feeling? Tavros looked down at his own fortune, which only consisted of one word. "Love."

Any more words that either would have said were cut off by two big, unison yawns. "Gamzee? Can we go to bed now?" the small boy asked, and Gamzee nodded, picking up Tavros bridle style and carrying him to the living room couch, too tired now from all the food and happiness to make it downstairs. Both boys lay on the couch, covering up with the blanket that Tavros still had around him. "Goodnight, Gamzee." Tavros said softly, and was already asleep before Gamzee's own "'Night Tav..." even reached his ears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was loosely based on actual events of my 9 year old brother and his crush. Who happens to be his best friend, who I a guy.  
> Basically, his friend came over, we had Chinese food and he didn't like it so my step mom made him a grilled cheese, but my dad said that we shouldn't cater to kids like that and they got into a fight and she burned the grilled cheese, so my mom said that could be my dad's dinner and they went to the garage to fight.  
> I made the kid a grilled cheese (not burned) and after eating there was an awkward silence because we could all hear them fighting through the floor, so I said "How about some fortune cookies?" and gave it to them.  
> The fortune that Gamzee got is the same one my brother got, and the one Tavros got is what his friend got.  
> The adorable irony was just too much XD I had to make a chapter based on it.
> 
> Because it was requested, here is what damara said. Please remember that it is canon that A) Damara is NOT very good at Japanese and B) 99% of what she says is inappropriate.  
> 1- You find yourself a nice little piece of ass, Gam?  
> 2- Of course! Just don't do anything too crazy until I get back. I like to watch.


End file.
